Today nearly broke me..

and it was just your average day.

I think you can tell from the look on that face ^ where this story is headed but I will start from the beginning.

I woke up at 8am (early for non morning-ers) or I should say Noelle woke up at 8am.

Her normal sleep pattern has been to wake once a night. Sometimes that once is at 3am, mostly it's at 5, if I'm really lucky it's 6, then she goes back to sleep until 8 or later.
Last night she was up at 1:30am, 4:30am AND was now awake for the day at 8.

So I knew it was going to be a rough day, one word: teething.

I am a night owl through and through, I come to you writing this post currently at 11:20pm.
Even when my eyes are burning, my soul yearns to stay up late.
(too much? LOL. well its partially my soul and partially my years spent working backshift.)

Exhausted but optimistic, I was determined to make today a good day.
I knew right a way the best place to start was Tim Hortons,
I needed coffee, I would get Elliott a bagel.

I picked out the kids matching Halloween outfits, I am dedicated to being the mom whose kids are always dressed for a holiday and/or in adorable matching outfits.

Other people don't always 'get' that, Nick doesn't really get it.
He likes when its done but he wouldn't go out of his way to do it himself, ya know?
but I do. I have to do it, its my OCD and its something I enjoy even though it can, on occasion, stress me out.

 

It took about an hour to get both kids diaper changed, clothed, teeth brushed.

10am and we're headed onto the front step, I figured a quick photo wouldn't be hard. I thought wrong, and this is the best we got. oh well.  ^

Got the caffeine, we are back home and Nick calls.
He's just calling to 'chat', see how our morning is going but Elliott is pulling at my leg, he wants Halloween music on... so I am desperately trying to start up our (piece of garbage, impossibly slow, crap) laptop.

Noelle has not let me put her down all morning, she is SO unhappy.
She screams from her swing in the background, Elliott is by my side saying "I want Halloween!", the laptop is dinging because it needs another update, Nick asks what we're up to..

Me: "WELL IT'S 11AM AND WE HAVEN'T HAD BREAKFAST"
 

Noon, Elliott has had his bagel, Halloween music on in the kitchen, I set up a paint station in the living room. My mom gave him this paint book yesterday so I wasn't getting away with no painting today, it was easiest not to fight it. I put Full House on the TV, because its the one show that Elliott and I can seem to agree on.
 

By 12:01 the living room looked like this ^

Which actually isn't bad.
Ever since the Playroom Makeover I've really hammered home the "One at a time" rule.

The 6 pack of juice boxes is out because Elliott is getting really handy at helping himself to things, and no, that's not sarcasm. It is really helpful/easy to say "get yourself a juice box. Grab a yogurt from the fridge. Get a granola bar in the pantry."

Especially in these times of teething/ not being able to look away from Noelle.
 

Its now 1:57, the baby monitor is an hour behind. ^

Elliott's nap time is around 2-3pm so I decide../I NEED to get Noelle to nap during that time.
I've been holding her in my arms, ALL DAY. And when you say you've been holding a teething baby, you're not just 'holding them'.

Oh, no, no.
You're fending off their kicks, jabs, swings, scratches, hip thrusts, all while frantically holding that sookie (soother) in their mouth for fear of the screech hiding behind the nipple.

I tried putting Noelle in her crib in her bedroom.
I really wanted to use my own room and get dressed at some point today... This was exciting to Elliott because Noelle normally sleeps in mommy's room.

So you can see Elliott in the bed to the left of the screen and Noelle in the crib to the right, 'they had to sleep together' according to El.
 

Elliott tucked his taggies into my bed and baby's bassinet.
The co-habitation in Noelle's bedroom lasted about 25 minutes of back and fourth crying/Elliott yelling at her stop.
before I said "OK. OWN ROOM TIME."

3pm.
I put Elliott into his own bed, he fought it.
I said he could stay up and read books.

3:10pm.
Noelle's screams begin again.
 

I picked her up and laid in my bed with her red, blotchy, rashy little face, her kicking and screaming.
Me, internally screaming.
We laid there for at least an hour.

At some point I had to call Nick for moral support.
I needed time to go faster.
It was only 4:30pm, he wouldn't be home until 7:30pm.
I had almost reached my breaking point, I needed to tell someone I was breaking so that I could gain a little sanity back.

Its like if you say it out loud, 'you cant take it anymore'.
The scales will tip back a bit in the direction of  'can take it'.
That's how it works for me anyway.
Sometimes I will just go in my room, close the door on the screaming kids and say out loud: I can't take it.

Its like my personal validation that, yeah you can't take it.
but its ok to admit it, because girl you have no choice but to take it.
so good job, even though you can't, you can and will.

Ya know?
was that the most confusing sentence of life.. ?

It’s like saying “I’m starving”

Are you really starving in the literal sense?

Should I call an ambulance? 

No. But it’s more satisfying than saying “I’m hungry”. 

And it’s more dramatic, I am nothing if not a tad dramatic. ;)

 

5:30pm and I go to get Elliott, Noelle is on her second Tylenol of the day but its not controlling her smacking, chewing, tongue wagging.

It's at this point I realize, I didn't feed Elliott lunch.

I'd been so consumed with Noelle's neediness and because breakfast was so late, lunch wasn't even a blip in the radar.

Oh well.
He's far from starving.

6pm.
One more hour to go.

Yell at Elliott to stop being so rough with Marley (repeat this 15 times a day, everyday.)
 

Look around at all the coffee cups, baby bottles, think how the kitchen isn't too bad for cleanliness.. then realize that's only because you forgot to make lunch and you got take out breakfast!

Literally text Nick at 10 minute intervals..

"only 30 more mins!"
"20 more mins!"
"10 more mins!"

FINALLY, at 7:30 he walks in the door.
(he should've been home at 7:20...........)

Drop Noelle in his arms, say I'm going to do laundry but really go upstairs and just lay on the bed for 15 minutes. Just lay there.

No thoughts, no one touching you, you can hear crying but you don't have to run to it, just lay there.

Watch my IG stories and realize no one would ever know how many times I had to tip the scale back to 'can take it' today.

Wonder how many times other parents had to tip their scales back today?
Wonder if they use the same method as me? (hide and say it out loud lol)
Wonder how parents do it with more kids?
Wonder if more kids would distract one another so maybe that's how they do it?
Wonder if that's the secret?
Wonder if I should have more kids to use this method?
Wonder what my future kids would look like?
Wonder if they would be boys/girls?
Remember how cute little babies are..
and they're all squishy and sleepy..
REMEMBERS THEY EVENTUALLY TEETH.
DONE WONDERING.
LIVE IN THE NOW.

Wonder what tomorrow will bring?
LOL.