How can you lose something you never really had?

 Like sands through the hourglass..

As an '80's baby the saying is burned into my brain, all those summers filled with daytime TV and 'sick' stay home from school days. 

So are Days of our Lives.. 

This may be a painful post for some to read and I want to give you the heads up, pregnancy and loss.

So much of my day(s, like everyones) get filled with go-go-go and back to back appointments, meals, meetings, bath time, bedtime, repeat.

When I was younger, I was unsure if this busy 'mom life' - sports, school drop/pick ups, the never-ending fighting.. breaking them up, potty training, sleepless nights, days are long but the years are short.. was what I wanted for my future. 

I wanted a career and a home. I wanted lots of pets! Hoped to live in Nova Scotia, be near the ocean and enjoy little summer vacations. Take lots of photos, fill up my walls with picture frames and vintage trinkets. 

The children question remained unanswered, until around the time I met Nick. We dated a few years & I really started to consider what a future with children would look like. I knew Nick would be a great dad, I knew his calm complimented my crazy. I caught the marriage bug, I saw a future of swaddled little babies and a child filled, noisy home.

If you know me, I tend to go all or nothing, ADHD, Scorpio, oldest child.. I say it all the time. All or nothing, fake it till you make it!

Kids? *ok. adds to cart.*

You never know what the universe has in store for you, I always want to acknowledge that and I do try to pay attention to wording- children. I decided I would like to have children. We were already a family, families come in every shape and size!

I was open to whatever my guiding light offered me. Somehow the stars aligned and we first had a beautiful baby boy! Then a beautiful baby girl! and another one (DJ Khaled)! 1 Boy & 2 Girls, perfect!

I haven't mentioned this yet, but once I got with the idea of having children in my brain a number stuck out in my mind, 4. 

I remember specifically being asked throughout my life: "how many kids do you want?" This question.. it's so personal, there's so many factors, it is such a loaded question. 

The few times I dared to answer, "4". 

I remember certain conversations "I want 4, Nick wants 2, we would probably try for 3." 

And so we did and we were blessed. 

Families with 3 children... our homes are noisy and it can feel like you have double the amount of kids you do! Most of the time there is double the amount hanging around because we've entered 'the kids friends are at our place' phase of life.

3 is a great and a LOUD, BUSY, MESSY number.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fast forward. The last couple of weeks have been the same bustling days and tired nights.

We have enjoyed summer so much and had a wonderful PEI vacation, everyone is feeling hectic and happy. I was feeling off, which is not unusual for me because I have chronic illness but I decided to use a strip pregnancy test.

There was the faintest line, another day I took another and another and although faint, they were there.

I told Nick the news (I have ADHD, I cannot wait a single second to tell anyone anything. No, cute little unboxing, I just say it right away 😆)  and we were excited but busy so days passed. 

I took a Clearblue and it said 'Pregnant 1-2'.

I waited a couple of days and took another Clearblue, it said the same. 

I suddenly felt HUGE, like my belly popped a foot outwards! This was also one of the first signs I felt when expecting both girls. Once my uterus expanded with Elliott it was very easily and more rapidly expanded again! 

We didn't tell anyone else, we knew how early on it was but we were very happy and chatty about what this could look like. I was hesitant to be excited, during all my previous pregnancies I had a terrible worried feeling, the anxiety is real. 

I felt exactly like that quote from Charlotte York: 

Nobody gets everything they want! Look at you, look at Miranda. You're good people and you two both got shafted. I'm so happy and... something bad is going to happen.

I feel that feeling so often. I feel so much guilt for being happy and its so hard to balance. 

I just had a feeling, it was my time for the bad.. then I started bleeding. 

It was late at night, we were still awake but we were busy cleaning and tidying. 

We have been prepping our home for some renovations (guilt feeling) and I was already wondering why I didn't feel morning sickness like I did with my other pregnancies.

I had HG with all those babies and it is awful!

But I was able to reassure myself, it was still so early, and I specially remember HG starting a little later than this so it was ok. 

I did have a very odd few days of extreme back pain while we were away on vacation, my back was thrown out so badly I could hardly walk. It was so unusual for me to 

A. have back pain this severe. 

B. for it to last as long as it did

but again, it was just a thing that happened and then it was behind me. 

Unfortunately, the bleeding did not stop. 

It's confusing and sad and stressful.

Honestly it has felt like an out of body experience to me. 

'Did any of this really happen??'

'Did I imagine all those tests?!' 

I did not. 

It  is/was very real and is the reality for so, so, so many people. 

Technically I think this would be considered a Chemical Pregnancy, a pregnancy that miscarries around 5 weeks or under. 

I don't personally love that term, but that's just my opinion.

I'm fine with it as a descriptive or medical word but when you read about 'Chemical Pregnancies' I feel it slightly diminishes the pain and the seriousness of the loss. 

It's similar to the word 'Fat' for me. 

I would rather not be referred to as "Fat". I feel there are so many more creative and intelligent words to be used. I am not speaking for all fat people, I'm being transparent about how I would like to be addressed. 

The same goes for our loss. 

I consider this a miscarriage. 

It was sudden, it was painful, it is not over. 

I don't know if anyone ever gets over a loss like this. 

Intertwined with the loss I feel all sorts of other emotions and things swirling around inside me - guilt? sadness? but also, thankfulness? worry? stress? pain? love? joy? sorrow? uncertainness?

It's something that so many go through, yet so few openly talk about. 

It's the reminder that we never know what our neighbours are dealing with or feeling. 

So kindness and empathy are key, support and love everywhere for everyone. 

If you're going through or have gone through anything similar or if this reminds you of something heavy you have been carrying, know you're not alone and I'm wishing you all best, love & strength your way.

Sending everyone lots of love, light and summer sun this month 🌅🌈 

Thanks so much for being here, I enjoy getting to know you all so much! Take care of your body, 💜 & soul.

Girls room Makeover: Paint and decals

Eeeekk!

This has been such a long time coming and it's still not done but I cant wait to share.
I am taking my time to complete it and really consider what will work well and make the transition from baby/toddler to young children for my girlies.

I LOVE a navy room but it just wasn't working for us anymore and honestly, it was looking worn and chipped.

Noelle's favorite color is PINK!
So I knew it would be some form of pink but I wasn't sure if I wanted to go pale blush, I feel like I have so much blush in the house, I wanted something a little different.

Primer, primer, primer!




It was going to take a few coats of primer!
We did 2 but we could have done 3.




I gave Nick some colour inspo and asked him to send me the closest thing he could find, he sent this colour trio from Kent Building Supplies Sico line and I love it!

2 walls in Cherry Bubble Gum
2 walls in Cherry Parfait




2 coats of primer and 3-4 coats of paint, it looks amazing!
Even better in person in my opinion :)

I had wall decals in mind from the start, I have often used Urban Wall decals and they have been amazing quality and low to zero damage when removing from the wall.

We have used these Triangles in Elliotts room (click here) $29 USD

This PLAY in the playroom (click here) $59 USD

We have this cutie, HELLO on our exterior garage door (click here) $10 USD



I initially thought I would like the gold hearts, I've seen them used in many homes and they're so cute but the more I browsed the better choice seemed to be the pastel dots.

I went with the full-size pastel dots (click here) $45 USD

They pull colours from the rug and pillows, they're 'something' for that wall but not too, too busy of a backdrop.

Plus the girls can grow into them for many years while changing the colouring of accessories if they get tired of all the pink!

Although I doubt Noelle will hahaha.




The dots are also great because you can freehand apply them, I didn't need to measure or line anything up.

They're peel and stick decals so they could not be more simple to apply.

I started with one colour and used one of each then back to the first colour again.

My goal was to not have many of the same colour side by side.










A TIP:

To make your decals look more custom, almost wallpaper-like.

Cut some decals in half, 1/3, 2/3

And place in the crease of where the wall meets another wall or window or ceiling.




If you look to where the wall meets the ceiling you'll see what I mean by cutting some of the decals to fit that area and it really does make it look more professionally done.

via GIPHY

More DIY's to come!

I almost gave up on potty training but we decided to keep going...

I don't follow many methods when it comes to my kids but something I am a firm believer in is:

wait until they're ready.

Like when Elliott didn't want to walk everyone starting freaking out and nagging me about it.

"is he walking yet?"

I mean, who cares? especially if you're a casual acquaintance.
Like, his prospect of becoming a successful adult just got axed because he was too stubborn to walk until he was 17 months. hahaha

OOP, Elliotts a write off!
Done.
Didn't walk until 17 months will be the headline on all his future resumes.

People sometimes ask parents weird intrusive things.

"sooo, are you breastfeeding?"
"what type of birth did you have?"
"baby led weaning?"
"are they walking yet?"
"talking yet, why not?"

^ I know some of those things may seem minor and we can't be afraid to ask questions that we feel are completely harmless but...

Why not ask things like:

"are you guys in need of anyting?"
"can I do anything for you?"
"Do you want an xxxxXXXXXXL coffee dropped off?" lololol

Err on the side of caution where I can. :)



We didn't potty train Elliott until he was 3 because I knew he wasn't ready.
My boy is stubborn and I wanted to wait until it would be easier for both of us.
It actually went super well and he picked it up fast, I don't think he ever wore pull-ups.
He went straight to underwear and even got up through the night and started going to the big toilet to pee on his own. (this led to some crazy mornings where I found pee on the floor in front of the toilet but for the most part, he was good about aiming. sometimes I think back and realize he was better about aiming when he was 3 than now that he's 5 :/ )




Elliotts used the portable potty but Noelle really wanted to use the regular toilet, we got this seat and its awesome! Click the little photo - affiliate link^^

Noelle is 2 years 9 months and I knew she was ready or so, so close to being ready to train.
She hates wearing diapers she wanted to be changed immediately every time.
But she's also a new breed of stubborn.
So, so stubborn. lol
Elliott was stubborn but he was also pleasant and could be talked into most things.
Noelle is full-blown, drop-down, drag-out, take no prisoners kind of stubborn. :)

We started and went all-in: if accidents happen, they happen.

It went well the first little bit because it was exciting for her, I always bribe with small toys/treats for this kind of transition.

Then we hit a snag.
The kids got sick and did I mention I've been trying to wean her off the sookie for months now??
This girl LOVES her sookie.

A lot of people suggest cutting the sook or throwing them out, donating to a sibling, etc but Noelle is SO attached (Elliott has his taggie bear, Noelle has her sooks).

We were down to using sooks only when sleeping.
I thought about all the tips and tricks but I knew she would steal Nilahs sook and honestly, we're hanging on by a thread here, three kids eep.

So everyone got sick, Noelle started taking out the potty training frustration by needing us more, crying a lot, whining a lot, wanting her sooks.

It was 3 whole days of her crying and me crying to Nick
"maybe she's not ready?! maybe we should shelf it for a bit?!"

Nick was skeptical because he didn't think the outbursts were from the potty training but little does Nick know, Noelle is my exact clone.

When I am upset or crying its usually because of something unrelated to the reason I say I'm crying.
There's a lot more to my tears than the SPCA commercial alone... well most of the time.
And other times those SPCA commercials are just so heartbreaking.

But she was doing SO well!
If I had to put a number on it, she was already 70% trained.
Why give up now?!

That was about 2 weeks ago, we did decide to push through and I would guess shes 85% trained now. She wears pullups at night and is good throughout the day.
Her mood is back to Noelle normal hehehe.

And I'm super happy we pushed through because two kids in diapers is the worst for so many reasons! $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

I mentioned Elliott was 3 years old when we trained him but he may have been a whole year older than Noelle because I can't remember the exact time frame.

Every kid is so different, listen to your instincts and potty solidarity sistas!

It's not suppose to be this hard...

"It's not suppose to be this hard."
I cried, trying to get Nick to acknowledge my needs without taking a total breakdown.

It was the same old song and dance.
We would be fine and happy, until pressure mounts and I get fed up.
Maybe I yell, maybe I give him the silent treatment, either way, we go to bed not talking and wake up not talking.

I'm mad at him for not seeing my needs.
I don't know why he doesn't talk to me.
I guess he's mad at me for not talking to him, he needs me to talk.

We dance around each other all day, not speaking, being happy with the kids but underneath tired and stressed. It usually lasts 24-36 hours.

We will wake up the next morning, I will ask why he's not talking to me, I will cry and beg him to see my stress before it totally boils over and gets to this point.
Maybe then we could avoid this whole thing all together - I always think.

It's not suppose to be this hard.

This is the easiest we will ever have it, I'll say.
Two working parents on parental leave at the same time.

People look at my life and think how privileged and easy it must be.
And honestly, it is, I know it is.
But that doesn't mean its not also hard.

I'm the type of person who is always in competition with people.
I want to be the hardest working, the most tired, the one with the fullest plate.

My family always treats me like a spoiled brat, the kept women.
"You're so lucky to have Nick!"
"Nick is so hands on."
"You work? yeah, right."
Ha ha ha.

I don't know why they think that.
Maybe it's because Nick and I met so young so we've taken care of each other.

I was already working at the post office 4 months when I met Nick.
19 years old I was attending Dalhousie University,  worked retail in the evenings and worked backshift at the post office overnight.



Nick worked at McDonalds, having just dropped out of Community College for some electrical engineering or something, he was enrolled to start Business at Saint Mary's University in the fall.

It was July and I went to a party at a mutual friends house.
Nick was there.
We had attended the same high school, graduated the same year and I knew who he was but I didn't know him.

I thought he was cute so we talked and he walked me home at the end of the night.
I had to work the next day at all my jobs so I didn't stay too long.
I remember adding each other to MSN the following day and that was pretty much that.
We were dating.



As our lives ebbed and flowed, Nick would go back to school, I would continue working at the post office.

Backshift for 3 years, evening shift for a while, full time letter carrier.

Nick didn't love love Saint Marys, he decided to go back to NSCC (Nova Scotia Community College).

He finished his business program there, he applied to jobs and ended up getting one that took him to Saskatchewan for 6 months.

I had bought my first home at this point, was a full time "mailman" and would stay in Nova Scotia wait for him to complete his job training then we would move wherever his work told him he had to go.



That place was Newfoundland, Canada.

We were there for 5 years.

The first 6 months I took a leave of absence from the post office so I could wait for a post office job to open up near our small Newfoundland town.

This was the start of those kept women, pampered life jokes.

An opportunity did open up about an hour away from our home so I snatched it up and was back at work. Commuting over an hour each way was not ideal, those Newfoundland highways are treacherous, whether moose or winter, it's all deadly.




After a year of that commute we found out I was expecting Elliott.
And the morning sickness started.
And it never stopped.

I was letter carrying, which meant walking around all day with my barf bag in hand.
But that wasn't the hardest part, the worst part was trying not to puke while making my commute each day.

I drove around with a small bathroom garbage pail under my right armpit.
It wasn't safe and my doctor put me off work.

Que, lazy homebody, Holly's a kept women jokes.



Eventually we ended up back in Nova Scotia.

We had Noelle and it was a carbon copy pregnancy so I was put off work again.



2019 baby Nilah!

Our 3rd and probably last baby.

You guessed it!
I was put off work.

This was a tough year, Nicks dad passed away, we juggled a lot of balls.
I was pregnant and sick, 2 kids at home, Nicks family home had to be cleaned up and sold.
The Realestate market in Halifax was really hot so we started thinking if we flipped his family home maybe we could make a small profit and we could do something we had been dreaming of doing for the last 6 years...




Maybe Nick could take a paternity leave with me.

(Canada offers up to 18 months off of work to new parents, partially paid.)

I would take the maternity leave portion and then a year unpaid.
Nick would take the 9 months paid leave his work offers.



THIS IS A DREAM SCENARIO.

I know it is, and we are both so thankful for this opportunity.

Knowing now what we know, I'm not sure how we would have made it work any other way.

We are both at home all day, every day.
That means we can juggle the night time feedings, school, hockey, swimming, birthdays, meals, laundry, cleaning, bedtime, baths, WHATEVER.

You all know how crazy life is and we get to juggle it with 2 sets of hands.
All in, all the time.



So then..
why?
Why do we still have the silent standoff?
Why is life so hard when it's not suppose to be this hard right now?

Honestly, because it just is.

Life is not a competition.
I need to shake that thought.

You cannot look from the outside and think you know everything that goes on in someone else life.
You don't get to tip your scale because you worked 40 hours and someone else worked 38.
They took sick leave, you didn't.
They have help that you don't.

We are all struggling.
We all handle work loads and life loads differently.

Life is hard for us right now, 3 kids 5 and under is just. so. hard.

But I'm thankful for every bit of it.
And very soon Nick will be back at work, I will still have some leave left and although its going to be hard I'll figure out how to make it work.
Then we will both be back at work and we will figure that out too.

After all our relationship started off on MSN....
we've figured out every social networking, texting tool thrown at us since then.
I'm betting we can figure out almost anything.  ;)

18 months to become a homemaker!

I haven't really mentioned much about Nick and my plans for our upcoming maternity/paternity leave.  It all seemed like such a distant dream but we are officially getting down to the last 2 weeks before baby arrives and as unreal as it seems, everything is full steam ahead!

It is annoying because you can't file for mat/pat leave until the baby IS born so I have this constant feeling like someone is going to tell Nick, "NO! you cannot take that much time off" but realistically I know that's not going to happen, I just can't believe we are both going to be off work for such a long time - concurrently!

In Canada you can take a paid mat/pat leave for up to 18 months, this has been in the political talk for quite a while and I was waiting for it to go into effect before we had any more kids.

I think it officially started in Spring 2018 or sometime around then, Noelle was still quite young so we had some time to think it over.

It's not an easy decision to make because although you get 6 more months off work, you actually don't get any more money than if you had taken a 12-month leave.

People are already stretched thin on mat leave as it can work out to be about half of your paycheque vs physically being at work.

If you're lucky you get a top-up, my work tops up our mat leave to 93% of your paycheque for 17 weeks and then you drop down to the EI portion only which is like I said, about half your regular pay.

Nicks work tops up for much longer, Nick can take 9 months off work (pat leave) and receive 93% pay for that entire time.

As parents, we had 12-18 months to play with for mat/pat leave and we can share, split, take separately or overlap that time off.

We decided Nick will take 9 months off 93% paid, I will take the 17 weeks 93% paid and then I will take the remaining 14 months off as leave without pay.

Confusing, I know lol

There will be around a 5 month period where we will only have Nicks 93% income coming in.
(After that he will return to work and can pick up some overtime to balance my missing income on the remaining months)

That's a scary move, we're millennials we've had student loan debt and poor housing markets, high cell phone bills (lol) for as long as we can remember, saving mass amounts of money or choosing to be a stay at home parent isn't exactly an option we ever thought we would have.

But at the end of the day, we both decided we could work through a tough few months of budgeting, downsizing etc because it will be sooooo worth it in the long haul.

Getting that time with the kids will be irreplaceable and let's be real, 3 kids, daycare costs, it hardly makes sense to have 2 working parents in that situation. 

18 months!
What are we going to do with 18 months! (Nicks only getting 9! hahah sucker!)

I really want to take this time to enrich my life.
I could very easily sit down and watch Netflix for 18 months, call it a day!
(obviously, I will also be taking care of the kids lol )
But, since I do have a small case of adult ADHD I know that won't be enough.

When Elliott was born I started the blog.
When Noelle was born, I still did the blog and I started insta-stories.

Both of those things bring me so much joy, I know some won't see blogging or "influencing" as a great talent but I am telling you, I put a lot of time and work into this little slice and it fills my creative outlet in ways I didn't know I needed.

I can't imagine what I would be doing all the time if I didn't take the leap to start this bloggy, the post office is fine but it wasn't exactly my life long dream (papercuts and parcel pushing lol) and fueling any creativity...just a 100% NO WAY JOSE.

Since I've grown the blog/social media angle, I'm ready to develop some more personal habits/hobbies.



Reading!
I can't wait to get back into reading, I've always loved books, I love holding them, smelling them, turning the pages.

I haven't had much time in the last few years, if I read anything its usually a blog but I am determined to read at minimum 6 - 10 books while off work.

I already finished my book about Laci Peterson.
It was written by her mother and she felt a little bit like she was cashing in on a terrible tragedy by writing but she donated the money to a victims charity and used the book as a platform for victim services/awareness which I thought was very sweet.

I already knew EVERYTHING about this story, its one of those never forgotten stories, she was so beautiful, 8 months pregnant, seemed like an all-around lovely wonderful person.

For that, I give the book an 8/10 because I just couldn't put it down,  the personal details lead me to know both families so much better.

But if you do already know the story inside out, you may find it a little bit draggy, there are no bombshell moments, we still don't know exactly what happened to poor Laci.

If you are interested, you can buy the book here >







I am DYING to learn how to knit!
You saw me sew those little leaves on the anniversary gift Nick had given me many years ago and my pathetic little stitches are something else...

It looks like the Etsy shop where Nick bought the anniversary tree is still up, its called Tailorbirds.
Search on Etsy or click right here for the link.

My Nanny is great at knitting and I can't believe she hasn't passed down that talent to ANY of us!
She use to make me so many sweaters and hats and mitt sets growing up, I loved it.

I still love it!
At 85 she just made Noelle this ear warmer last week and I want her to make a matching set for me and the new babe!

She can't see very well anymore and can only do patterns from memory >>>>>






Marley and Me walking in Newfoundland wearing my Poppys horse sweater that my Nanny had knit him years ago.



Cooking/baking is also high on my to-do list!
I'm not bad at these things, I just don't have the time!
So, I'm hoping we can work out a better meal schedule, maybe even make a food calendar we can loosely follow to simplify the stressful "WHAT'S FOR SUPPER?!!?!" routine.

I made this blueberry lemon cake last week, you can find the recipe by click-a-licking right here!



Ok, what else should I do on this little post office hiatus??
I need to finally live up to my Holly's Housewife Life namesake and do the damn thing!

What would you learn/do if you had the time???

Underused but not unknown names for baby girl...

I've been thinking of names my whole life, whether I would be a baby momma, dog mom, cat mom, fish mom, I knew I would eventually be naming something!

The names have changed a bit over the years but for at least 10 years I had my girls' names set as Noelle and Charlotte.

I mean, for years and years and years these were in my brain...
Then came the Royal Baby #2!

Princess Charlotte of Cambridge

Came in and spread the good Charlotte name like wildfire.. (Good Charlotte.. 15-year-old me flashback LOL)

I knew then and there my plans had to change. 

I love names that are known but not overused, names that have been heard of but not caught onto the trending list... yet.

Now, no one take offence to this!
Charlotte is a gorgeous name!
I think tons of the top names on the trending lists are!

Olivia, Sophia, Emma.
All considered and adorable.

But I am stubborn and determined to find that sweet middle spot.

Don't DM me about Elliott and Noelle, I know they're not groundbreaking in any capacity but I feel like we did get them both named just in the knick of time!

Elliott and Noelle are starting to rise on the list so hopefully, they will go to school with name twins but not be in the same grade as them LOL

*I was going to name my firstborn Elliott whether we had a boy or a girl, that would've been pretty special in 2014 but since then Elliott has risen in popularity for girls. 

Onto the list!
(in no particular order)




1. McKinley (this is Nicks grandmothers maiden name, a big contender on all our kids' name lists)

2. Eden (I LOVE E & N names)

3. Jupiter (Nick loves space)

4. Willow (we love Buffy but its trending now)

5. Drew (I love Barrymore)

6. Rowen

7. Tatum

8. Bryn

9. Noah

10. Halle

11. Malia (Nick and I both googled strong women and wanted to name her Michelle for Obama but its too common so we turned to their kids)

12. Veronica (Nick wants this, I like it but I don't feel it goes with Elliott & Noelle)

13. Juliette or Julianna

14. Nellie (but Noelle is nicknamed Nellie at daycare)

15. Brielle

16. Luelle/Luella

17. Ivy

18. Joy (goes with our Christmas theme!)

19. Wrenn

20. Blayke/Blake (I want this, Nick does not)

21. Blair (same as above)

22. Nora/Norah

23. Poppy

24. Andie

25. Tess/Tessa (this is one of my favourites, Nick doesn't agree)

26. Nyree (Nyree if you read this, its because I met you at Sunnyside Mall! :))

27. Nova/Novalee

28. Navy

29. Naomi (but then she would be Naomi Clark from 90201 LOL)

30. Neve (I LOVE N NAMES. Most underused names imo.)

31. Billie (my childhood dog)

32. Shirley

33. Jessie

34. Evelyn

35. Annie (Jillian Harris took it from me, Leo was also on my boy list because it's my
Poppy's middle name. I can't recycle names I hear daily on Instagram LOL)

36. Elle

37. Juniper (see Jupiter)

38. June

Noelle Turns 2!!

I can't believe my baby is 2!

One of my favourite sayings is:
The days are long but the years are short.

It's 100% truth!

I never thought I would have a daughter, I was positive we would have 2 boys and if we tried for 3, it would be a third boy.

I was shocked when they said I was expecting a girl and I'm even more shocked I'm now expecting another girl!

Raising Noelle has been completely different from Elliott.
*I've never appreciated Elliott more until Nolee came along... JKJKJK

Elliott is an easy-going, quiet, agreeable guy.
Noelle is the opposite of above! hehe



No, seriously though I feel like Elliott gets the credit because he was the only one and had free range of all the toys/food/people/rooms etc. of course his life and attitude was easy peasy!

Being second-born isn't as simple because you've got that older sibling egging you on, you can't just have whatever you want, sharing is now a thing and competing for attention is most definitely a thing!

Noelle makes her wishes known!
She has a screech that can make you cringe but she is wise above her years, she LOVES doing whatever I am doing - cooking, laundry, taking photos (lol), pretty clothes, purses, lipstick.

She watches everything and knows just what to do with every makeup product I own!



She is fiery, loud, demanding but shes the most openly loving and affectionate.

Whenever she returns from somewhere she runs in the house..
"MAMA, MAMA, MAMA!!!!!"
and straight into my legs to hug.

She loves saying "mama, dada, elliott. mama, dada, elliott."
She wants to do everything her brother does and she thinks shes big enough to do it.



She LOVES babies, she will get excited when we see babies in strollers or out in public any child smaller than her is - BABY! (NE NE!)



I didn't feel like she needed a big birthday this year, honestly, I'm feeling a little birthday burn out already LOL

Don't ask me how I'm going to sustain a June, July, September birthday schedule every year for these kids. They're all so close, I never get to recover from one party before its the next!

But I know home parties will only last so long and soon they will want a movie theatre or trampoline parks or lord knows what! So I'll embrace getting to go all out at home for now.

We've already decided next year will be Elliott's first school friends party, sorry family and family friends.. we will be scaling down to his school friend/close friend group and I guess we will see what he comes up with for party ideas next year.



Back to Noelle, she didn't need much, I knew a cake would THRILL her.
She is a total sweets lover!

Just for fun I took out all the tropical theme decor from her first birthday and decorated with that.
I'm so happy I kept everything because its a super versatile theme!

You can use it for summer parties, birthdays of all kinds!



I picked up a little Birthday girl sash at the party store in Sackville and she loved her new dress from Joe Fresh.







We had some family over, a BBQ supper and of course a Dolly cake!!





BIG thanks to my girlfriend Kate who has made all the kids Birthday cakes since we moved back to Nova Scotia.

They're absolutely delicious and SO cool to look at, every single year!



Just look at Noelle's face in the photos at the start of this blog you can see how excited she was to have her own Dolly cake.

Then it was present time!
It was sort of nice to have a small gathering, we got to really watch Noelle's reaction to every gift and boy does she react. lol





She got purses, dolly accessories, a baby stroller, new clothes, tea sets, the whole shebang of favorite things.











I cannot believe next year will be 3!
The time is going too fast and I want to hang onto her tiny but powerful little "MAMA" voice forever.