Wednesday, 2 August 2017

It's easier than I thought..

How's it going?
Easier than I thought.

well that would've been the title of this post had you asked me how it was going two weeks ago.
Going from 1 to 2 kids.. I knew it was going to be hard, really hard, but then there is just something even harder about it.

So funny because I said that exact same thing to my doctor about the C-section!
(c-section post to follow!)
I think no matter how prepared you are for something you truly can't be prepared until you're in the thick of it.

The first few weeks after Noelle was born Nick was on vacation and we were tackling the kids one each, life was pretty stable.
the really tough moments came last week.

Nick took some extra shifts on top of his normal shifts at work, so he was gone.
6 days straight.
12 hour days.
(plus he needed to eat, sleep and travel.)
I was by myself for a week with two 3 and under.

Hard, was the word of the day.
Tears were shed.
and lots of coffee was consumed, even though I gave coffee up years ago.

I NEEDED it back.

It was my mental health that lapsed more than anything.
I'm here trying to get the kids fed, changed & contented...
but that's literally all you do, over and over and over. When one of them wasn't needing me, the other one was.

I don't stress about many things, I don't second guess my intuition, the lack of sleep doesn't hurt quite as much because I've been running on lack of sleep for the last 3 years. lol

but then there's my 'threenager'.

If anyone tries to tell you the 'terrible twos' is a thing, laugh in their face!
the two's are adorable and joyous!
they still don't understand things at 2, you can fool and distract so easily.

they're not asking "WHY?", "WHAT HAPPENED?", and telling you in full sentences that they're not going to eat their food, they don't want to clean their toys up and then demanding to go to the play ground every hour of the day.

The 2's are like living with an angel.
3 is where you consider dropping them off at boarding school and not looking back.


It's really hard for me because I have such little patience... lol
Its true! that's why I wasn't sure if I would ever want to be a parent.
I post a lot of pretty pictures and funny anecdotes but on the inside I've had a lot of Charlotte in the pantry moments.

Skip to 2:50..

That is one of the most real mothering moments captured on film.
I swear.

it's been a roller coaster where my heart is full and excited and thankful.
and its also having 3 times the amount of work to do but only 1/3 of the time to do it in.
you've been at the same job for a while so you feel like maybe you can handle it, but also maybe not.

welcome to multiple kid land!
& surprise, you're not allowed to fail.
hit very close to rock bottom sure..
lock yourself in the pantry..
in a moment of pure desperation, grab taggie bear and throw him at your screaming 3 year old..
watch taggie bear bounce off his head (not hard just super bouncy like)
not know whether to laugh or cry because you feel so ashamed you just did that................
but also the stunned look on your 3 year olds face when taggie hit him was really funny.
really, really, funny.
so you laugh/cry about that for the next two weeks or so.

Now make sure you keep all these feelings/stories on the down low& behind closed doors,
because blogland & facebook only likes to see the happy, smiling, on the ball perfect family dynamic ;)

wake up and do it all again, everyday, for the next 18 years.
that's how my months been.
Easier than I thought.

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