Thursday, 18 January 2018

Why do my kids need me so much?

Its been a minute since I've talked about the kids, and this may be the Buckleys cough, cold and flu meds talking, exhaustion from all of our sickness, or it could be Noelle...
A. because she is regular needy
B. because she is sick needy

but our kids are just. so. needy.
I am with them 24/7 and if they could manage I'm sure they would make it 25/8 because there is hardly a moment of silence or second of peace.

And it has me wondering all the time, how did my grandmother with 7 kids do this?
I legitimately wonder how anyone with more kids did/does it?

To be clear I'm not whining about our kids, we obviously love them, want them, expected them to need us. You know I only talk about our 'rough' moments because you see our great moments on insta stories and great moments are not what I need to get out of my system.

But that neediness though...
Every minute from dawn until dusk it's mom, mom, mom, mom, mom.
It's "look at me!"
"I need this!"
"I want this!"
"Play with me!"
"I'll come with you!"
"I'll help you!"

It's Noelle crying when I move an inch away from her... sometimes I am just reaching for a remote or toy basket and her little heart breaks as if I've dropped her off at the orphanage.

When you have to explain "I'm just going to the garbage can" more than once a day I think its a solid indication that your kids are needy. 

I never use the term 'bad mom' because I'm a kick-butt mom but in fleeting moments I wonder "is it bad that I'm so available to them??"

Should I just say "NO."
Don't talk to me, don't bother me, don't expect me to help you on your schedule.

For the most part, I do do that.
Elliott is moderately well behaved, his listening skills are ok for being 3, but it's the wanting to be around me, wanting to help me, come with me wherever I go.

If I go upstairs he is hot on my tracks, when I'm in the bathroom I hear "where are you, mom? I need to see you”

I just have a hard time understanding how moms with 3,4,5,6,7+ do it, I would love to be a fly on their wall.

Are they less available?

Is it a household fact that mom is less available because well, she straight up has to be less availble when spread out over so many kids OR do those moms have way more mom energy/patience than me?

Elliott is great at independent play, he's got a wild imagination and he is really good at keeping busy but it still feels like I need to be 'around'.

He doesn't like me to be far, he likes when I watch him playing independently (defeats the purpose much?!? lol) and Noelle is just addicted to me, I've become a pro at doing everything with my right hand while shes perched on my left arm, I fear for what that translates to in the future.

Some days it's so overwhelming, I'm wishing for someone to pop by and just take them for a while or even someone to distract them while I go take a nap/shower/read a book, whatever!

But most days I get through just fine, they're only small for so long and I enjoy how much they love spending time with me.

The question of how other parents do it still plagues me though...
Really, I want to be a fly on the wall.
Is it me being too giving with my time? or my kids being to eager to take it?
Can I just come to your house and watch how it goes down? ;)

1 comment :

  1. Oh friend!! I have one, Connor, 5, and I can't do it all some days with him! HUGS and know that this is just a season and a year from now, their needs will be easier and you'll be wishing they were still babies.