Tuesday, 19 April 2016

Social media is stressing me out..

I struggle with anxiety.
I get super anxious over things
I have panic attacks.
I overthink.
I live my life and probably, maybe, conceal it.. do I?

but until you've seen me 10 minutes before a hair appointment you have not seen the real me..

and I LOVE hair appointments!
but the thought of someone waiting for me
me holding up their time and then having to sit there for 3 hours
making small talk and unable to leave if I suddenly absolutely freak out
its like the most painful event of my existence..



So that's why I have such a love/hate relationship with social media..
(let me try and connect these dots...)

I love social media
I don't think that needs explaining, you know all the obvious reasons..
family, friends, creepin, buzzfeed.

But,
there is this other side



that totally overwhelms me
I feel anxious just looking at that screen and that's a super mild media moment.
 
I get stressed out thinking about how I post too much and then I get panicky thinking about how I post too little.
 
The blog side wants more, which is a blessing and curse..
because all the blog groups I'm a part of have shared many tips and tricks for making your blog GREAT. sometimes I just don't have the energy to make my blog that great.
I just want to post photos unedited and non staged.
write the way I write
(which is like this..)
 
my phone is binging 24/7 with blog group notifications
and as much as I want to turn off notifications..
I do want my blog to be great and I love those ladies!
so the little red dot haunts me until I open it.
 
but lets not let blogging take all the anxious blame..
 
there's the other side, my personal social media accounts
where I share too many photos
it is an addiction to share photos of your baby and dog
I swear to you, it is.
 
 
So, who cares?
no one really.
that's why I had a radical though
 
What if I deactivated my facebook?
 
what would happen?
would I still feel anxious?
would I feel like I'm missing out?
would I even last 24 hours?
 
I spend so much time mindlessly scrolling and getting distracted by all the notifications
would I get more done in real life if I took a break?
 
not sure.
not positive I would even last an hour without it.
I have so many social media friends!
whom I love!
I'm not sure I can go without..
 

 
^ example
the CBB network did a book and mug swap and the lovely Renee from See The World in Pink sent me this parcel. She nailed it! I love her!

 
but speaking of books..
I have a major collection of unreads waiting to be read!
add to the above 
and some crazy horror story books from the writer of Gone Girl
that I'm not sure I will be able to handle because I am such a wuss..
 
I have lulu lemon clothes to send back..(so expensive, I can't let that slide. hold me accountable!)
closets to clean out
work outs to do
cooking classes to attend
tv shows to binge (The Office, Kimmy Schmidt)
hair appointments to make (see full circle! ;))
 
 

 
^ plus more of this
 
 
Talk about useless notifications tho..
this post is probably the worst
so boring
but have you ever gone social media free?
did you feel free-er??
 



I'm not going to lie to you
I will remain on Instagram because that's the happy place of social media
and I'm going to snap chat because I have a dozen people who snapped me and I need to figure out how to snap back.
and I'm probably going to miss Buzzfeed like EXTREMELY bad.
Buzzfeed Ned and Buzzfeed Kelsey are the dream team.
 
I'll probably be back in two minutes because this is a horrible idea when I can just turn off notifications and be all cool but YOLO.
 
AND FOMO.
SO MUCH FOMO ALREADY.
 
 




4 comments:

  1. Haha Holly! :) I don't even have Facebook on my phone, I just open up a browser tab when I need to use it. I also turned off my notifications for Twitter (gasp!). I still have Instagram though, because I am ever-so-slightly addicted...

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  2. Social media is overwhelming! That's for sure. It's hard to find a balance with social media, blogging, family, you time... I think that's mostly what you're feeling! I'm with ya girl!

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  3. Social media and LIFE in general is overwhelming. You're not alone, love.
    My husband constantly makes remarks about my phone constantly blowing up with notifications.
    I've stopping trying to craft perfect blogposts and I just write. I honestly do not crap in the end if no one reads my shit. I'm not a fashion blogger, not beauty, I'm not a mommy blogger. I write about my life and often post pictures of the dogs, that's it. But that's me, that's who I am. If I make friends along the way and come across some opportunities, I'm happy.

    I'm definitely in the same boat, anxiety attack and all.... Hugs girlfriend!! Xo

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  4. Oh Holly, I have so many feelings about this post! Re: Hair appointments...They freak me out so much for exactly the same reason. The fear that I will freak out mid-appointment is too much to take and I haven't had a haircut in a year and a half...When people compliment my hair I feel awful. Social media and blogging is also really hard on my anxiety and perfectionism. If you ever want to talk about all of this, feel free to get in touch via FB or email <3 much love, Andy

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