Thursday, 22 December 2016

What a whirwind 24 hours...

aye yi yi ...
what a day of hustle and bustle for (practically) nothing!! hahaha

I received a voice mail at 8:45 this morning..
it was the IWK (childrens hospital in Halifax)
they received notice from my doctor and would like to fit me in today at noon for an ultrasound.

I called back one million and one times but there was no answer so I said to Nick
lets just show up and hopefully it will still be available.
we did. and thankfully it was.  




 
It was super last minute so Elliott came with us but it turned out no children under 12 can attend the ultrasound so he and Nick had to wait in the waiting room.
 
I love taking Elliott places with us these days, he's such a hammy personality and normally the public falls right into his charming trap ways heheh
 
He says Hi to everyone and gets more and more chatty everyday.
today he took taggie bear (who of course comes everywhere)
Elliott demanded Taggie be sitting on a chair and pushed in, when we left the hospital we forgot him and THANK GOD Nick remembered as we hit the van to head home or we could've had a very ugly holiday season! (still in search of more taggie bears but they seem to be discontinued.)
 
 
Anywoo we did the ultrasound and it turns out there is only ONE baby in there and he/she is only 15 weeks along! booo
 
I was slightly discouraged but it was a nice relief to see the flicker of that heartbeat and look at the little arms and legs flailing around.
 
the ultrasound tech told me to keep my 20 week ultrasound in January and we'll go really in depth then. for now they just measured the arms, legs, head and torso. She sent me out and said she just wanted to check something, then she called me back in for more photos..
She said it looked like my uterus may have been contracting but they wanted to double check because it could have just been the current photos.
The second set of shots showed everything as all good so no need to worry and sent me on my way!
 
In Nova Scotia they will tell you the sex of your baby after the 20 week ultrasound but they wont let the techs do it, you have to wait for your next doctors appointment.
Both me and the ultrasound tech who I had today said we hope we see each other for the next appointment because she was an absolute sweet heart!
She described everything to me as she went and was almost as excited as I was when we saw the little fingers and toes moving around.
She said when she does the 20 week she will tell you when she's shooting the gender reveal shots in case you want to try and take a throughout peek yourself, she said she wont give any clues but some of the techs don't even describe what you're looking at at the time and it can be a very silent appointment!
 
 



Other than that I wrapped all of Elli's gifts last night so we are set for Christmas eve.
I hardly spent a dime this season on him, minus the train table.

 
^ He's got a handful of gifts to unwrap and his stocking but I picked everything up throughout the year, mostly at great clearance sales!

 
The train table finally came together and it looks great!!
this is the exact Train Table we purchased.
DO NOT PAY FULL PRICE.
it is always on sale!
$229 regular but we paid the $169 plus we waited for a free delivery special so we had it dropped right off at the house!
the delivery saved us about $81 dollars so make sure you wait for that special too :)


I also got Nick to swing by and pick up these cute little homemade blocks that I found on a buy and sell. we love Monsters inc incase you were wondering :)
and Elliott loves building towers!
 


but the joke was on me because I didn't ask the dimensions..
when Nick got them home I realized they were only about the size of marshmellows!
so his 6 piece tower won't be much in the height department lol!
but he can add them to his other block towers...
they were $10
 


Other than that, I picked up some makeup sponges and I'm going to test out a glitter mani using them!
I hope to report back positive reviews later this week..
see you then! :)







Wednesday, 21 December 2016

The BEST baby news...

I never wanted to be a mother..

I had friends in high school who couldn't wait to be stay at home moms.
I was like "ick. no why. ew. horrible." (hehehe)

I cringe when I hear people say:
"my life didn't begin until I became a parent..."

WHAT?! Bish, where you been??? because my life was bomb dot com!

all jokes aside, that statement truly makes me uncomfortable.
I spent many years as a childless women who never wanted kids and my life was happy and full and perfect. (ask me if I could live without pets and we would have a problem!)

there were many reasons why kids were not an option for me.
one of them being:
fear.
if I had kids, I wanted to be a better parent than my parents.
I wanted my potential children to be better people than me.
(I don't think these are usual feelings)

I didn't think I would have the patience and endurance to make that happen and quite frankly I'm not sure I even wanted to try.
I love me, I love everything about me.
spending time on me.
spending money on me.
me. me. me. me.
I'm a selfish person and if it was just me, I didn't have to feel bad about that.

so why the heck do you have kids you ask??

I had them because eventually I knew I would be a good parent and I knew that Nick would be the best father. He would fill all of my shortcomings while going above and beyond.
We would be far from perfect but we would be good, really good.


so then comes part two:
I was either having none or a Duggar load!
for me siblings were a BIG deal.
If I have 1... I want 4!
but I HATE Pregnancy!

ugh this whole motherhood thing fights me every step of the way doesn't it??!?!
at this point I'm not sure if a 3rd pregnancy is in the cards for me.. but foster care and adoption down the road is not out of the realm of possibility.
(I've read up on foster card many, many times and the thought of it breaks my heart but the thought of not doing it breaks my heart more)
Foster Care Nova Scotia

AND THAT BRINGS US TO TODAY....
(I can never just get to the point, I need to mull over all these useless details first)

I had my doctors appointment and the nurse said we were going to listen to the heartbeat
(YAY FINALLY! didn't I just post yesterday how we hadn't done this yet??)

I laid down and she got her Doppler..
then she looked, and looked and looked and looked and looked and looked....
and OMG, what the heck is the problem...

and I don't panic.
I know what will be will be and also it can take a long time to find a heartbeat.
but I mean we were talking like 30 minutes here..
she said to me a couple of times "don't panic. don't worry if we can't find it. etc."

well I wasn't going to at the 15 minute mark but my god 30 minutes later, I'm starting to sweat.

then she found it!
it was up a lot higher than she expected and she also said I felt a lot bigger than 14 weeks +4 days.

she brought in the doctor who struggled as well and said
"well you're either further along or its twins!"

twins is my dream scenario in a way..
double the family, half the pregnancy!

but after what felt like an hour of doppling he said
"I only hear one beat, I think you're just further along"

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT!
I just gained a whole month of pregnancy in one day!


instead of being 14-15 weeks they think I'm about 18-19!
EEEEEKKKKKKK!!



Still vomiting this morning but I feel re-motivated knowing I'm that much closer!



Babies are HARD work and a major commitment.
I'm glad I decided to go for it but if you're on the fence I recommend getting a cat, then another cat, then a dog, then a 4th cat... and eventually maybe you'll decide to add a human baby to the mix or maybe not, but either way you've got your hands full girl.
Spend some money and time on you! ;) 

 
1st born- Roxy Roller
current age 9 years

 
2nd born- Luna the Ripper
current age 8 years
 

3rd and 4th
Marley worlds worst dog - 8 years
Little Orphan Annie - 7 years
 
 
5th ^
Elliott Eugene 2 years


Current day photo
Resting while I type: 


You will never find Luna in this mix, she is strictly my girl only and she is anti social to the rest!

Tuesday, 20 December 2016

Cookies, beauty and ultrasounds...

OK its the final stretch friends!!!

5 days until Christmas and Elliott's gift was JUST delivered today! phew!
we decided to go for one big gift this year and that's about it.
Its a train table that hopefully will be of interest for years to come because it was not cheap but we did catch a sale ;) I will post photos after Christmas when assembled!

I found an EASY PEASY delicious cookie recipe that I will be remaking/baking for the big man December 24th! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 
 
seriously go make them! so simple and so satisfying!
 
 
If you haven't noticed I've been on a makeup no buy!
hence the lack of beauty around here..
out of desperation I was about to purchase a new foundation because all of mine seemed to be too dark for my current pale skin tone.
but I did a little digging and found a few I'm going to empty out before I bring in more.
 
you have no idea how satisfying this no buy has been!
I have a nasty clutter of half used things in my makeup/bathroom stash and to finally be seeing the empties pile up has just made my heart feel good!
 
I don't know if its age or having kids or what! but over the last few years I've starting feeling this tremendous guilt over the amount of things I own. I have so much when parts of the world have so little, and replacing perfectly usable things with another usable thing just seems so pointless and frankly overwhelming!
 
I mean, I'm not totally cured.. the lipstick situation is not under control.. but baby steps!
 
I think I will pick up this book after Christmas, its got a hyped following:
The life changing magic of tidying up - decluttering and organizing.
 
I'm feeling 2017 is the year!!
or maybe its the nesting (lol pregnancy shout out)
 
 
either way here's my hoard!
I've been sticking to the MAC for events
and the water blend for days at home.
 
the l'oreal is terrible for my skin and going to have to find a new owner
 

 
FYI: read small print!!!
 

picked up this mascara pack for my sisters birthday and it also comes with a full size mascara coupon!!! WIN WIN
I could not find this product available on Sephora.ca but there was still 3 available at Micmac Mall Sephora as of a week ago....
3 still available after I may have purchased some for stocking stuffers ;)
they're hidden by the cash in the quick grab isle!
 
AND we are really considering going to UC baby again!
we went for Elliott because Newfoundland does not tell you the gender of your baby (2014 they didn't anyway) and I could not live not knowing.
my pregnancies are so nasty I needed some form of pick me up!
 
Nova Scotia will tell you but my first ultrasound isn't until January 31st.. and then I would have to wait for my doctor to reveal the gender so we are talking February before knowing.. that seems like a lifetime away.
 
also,
I cannot believe my first ultrasound isn't until January
I haven't heard a heart beat or anything!
they really just let you go through the whole pregnancy with the if there's nothing immediately wrong, there's no need to worry vibes... 
if this was my first baby I would be purchasing my own Doppler because it worries a girl to death!
 
but luckily with this being my second pregnancy Elliott has me too distracted on a daily basis to let too much worry sink in and I've been much more aware of this baby's movements!
I remember feeling Elliott move for the first time at about 16 weeks and it was minor butterfly like swirls that I guessed was him.
this baby I swear I felt SO early! probably 12 weeks starting and its only gotten stronger and more like a swooshing baby movement feeling and we're only at 15 weeks!!
 
so we're thinking UC baby in mid January and right now it looks like a sale!!
so booking that immediately!
 
 


How are your holidays going??!?!
Are you ready?!?!?!
XOXO

Tuesday, 13 December 2016

Maternity fashion, I have nothing to wear... but lipstick!

So as I am approaching 16 weeks pregnant (baby #2) I have very quickly run out of regular clothing options...

UGH so annoying.
I have a vision in my mind of what I want to look like but sadly there's very little maternity fashion options around and even less of a reasonable price tag!

I have a sort of boho, easy wear style which is hard enough to style on a good day let alone when my belly is bulging, so I've been trying to think outside the box and pick up very few pieces that will stand the test of time - pregnant time and after!
lets face it the holiday season is not friendly on the purse strings, yet you want to be glam this time of year! struggles.

the dedicated maternity stores around can sometimes (a lot in my opinion but prove me wrong!) lean towards a more mature pregnancy.. I'm 30 and I want to look 25 so help a girl out with more stylish options!

Luckily there is stores like gap, H&M and Old Navy that seem to have some tiny maternity sections in store but in my experience they have been so cluttered with all mix and match sizes, options.
hit or miss!

as discouraging as it is..
I got desperate today and splurged a little..
see what I got below!
and send me in the direction of some hip, moderately priced mat wear! :)

 


^ the most recent photo of me taken at 14 weeks.
this is an old sweater from target I spied it in the back of my closet and was reminded of the zippers on the bottom (see the V's with a grey tee underneath) so its accommodating for an expanding mid section but not maternity.
 
 
If you've been wondering what shade of red I've been obsessed with rocking lately, its the Kate Moss for Rimmel long wearing lipstick! an oldie but a goodie
 
I can't be certain that they have the exact same shade still available but it looks like they might..




^ lipstick in natural light!

first things first.. I'm the realest.

when in doubt, wear dresses!
110% dresses will make your pregnant life easier!
went pregnant with Elliott I was due a month later than with this baby and my belly didn't pop until much later in pregnancy equaling a spring/summer FULL of maxi dresses and it was the best.

they are normally quite affordable, you can find them to fit in the non maternity section if they're flowy enough and one and done!!

this time its the dead of winter so I knew pregnancy tights would be my best friend!
I had seen them at H&M so I grabbed one pair (haven't tried on yet, keep you posted!)
 




they weren't cheap!
I was hoping for a $9.99 price point so I could stock up but at $17.99 one would due for now.
 
the mat section at H&M was a mess and unfortunately I didn't find anything that wowed me. so I moved onto Old Navy..


I saw this knit cardi and HAD to have it because the colour red was just so good!
sadly online I only see it in navy and beige! what!!
 
its a non maternity item but seeing as its open front it better grow with me ;)
 
same deal with the dress, non Maternity but these flowy tee dresses are a must have for me, pregnant or not! you have to be careful because they can be boxy looking but paired with a belt, cardi or jacket. its like wearing pyjamas - so comfy!
 




the one maternity piece I picked up was a royal blue sweater and I just couldn't draw my eyes away from the colour! when your main pant colour is black.. its always nice to brighted around your face.
can also see this with lots of bling accessories for the holidays!
 
again couldn't find the blue online...
similar in pink!
 
 




the one thing I will say is that sadly I feel like Old Navy is caving to the fashion sizing of many stores.. I always found Old Navy to be a wonderful example of "real" women, they have sizes xs-xxl and the large always felt like a large not a small labeled poorly..

maybe I am wrong and its just my current weird body proportions that have skewed my perception but the size large felt smaller to me.. I tried a lot on, a lot of dresses for example and the larges looked teeny tiny for an over sized swing dress style.
maybe just me.. ?
has anyone else noticed?




Sunday, 20 November 2016

Pregnancy weight gain..

you would think someone who has to pop these pregnant lady anti vomit pills like candy wouldn't be gaining weight at the speed of light..


I'm here to tell you that is not the case.
(cry laughing/actual crying emoji)
 
I'm going to reveal my actual weight in numbers in this post, because I know that's what y'all are about!
whenever I read posts about weight loss journeys etc, I'm like "REVEAL SOME NUMBERS!".
not that it matters at all!!
we all know that!
its about inches and feelings..
the number is pointless but I'm such a nosey little beotch I just want to know every intimate detail about everyone, ever.
 
when I got pregnant with Elliott I weighed 145 pounds, I was content with that and felt comfortable.
I wasn't sure how pregnancy would go for me, my weight has always sort of yo-yo'd by 10-15 pounds but a normal weight for me was around 140-150 lbs.
 
I had HG with Elliott as well (I'll post about HG someday for anyone who is interested, just google it for now) and I was sick constantly plus didn't feel like eating so at my last weigh in with him I remember being 179 pounds.
 
that was great! we were both healthy and a 34 pound weight gain was manageable. I actually felt like it was on the lower end of what I had anticipated I would gain.
 
welcome 2016 and a new pregnancy...
 
I'd assumed a second pregnancy might come with higher weight gain but since this time I was starting out weighing less than my last pregnancy start weight, I was cautiously optimistic...
 
HAHAHahahaha.
that was a mistake
 
 I COULD NOT STOP EATING MY FIRST 6 WEEKS.
like could. not.
I was ravenous.
 
then the HG kicked in and I am now completely turned off by EVERYTHING.
but HG is sneaky because you're so sick all the time.. that in those moments of weakness when you eat, you STUFF YO FACE.
 
seriously every article is the same:
"don't worry about what you're eating just eat when you can"
 
and that's what we do.
 
I spend my days sleeping, puking and eating.
I basically only move from the bed to the couch.
 
so I'm no longer working out and I'm eating what I can when I can.
its a toxic combo.
 
and that's why I'm here to whine..
I feel HORRIBLE.
 
I went to the doctor a few days ago and I knew the truth was going to hurt.
my nurse is so sweet and she clearly must've seen the big weight gain coming because she kept saying "don't worry about the number!!"
before we even hit the scale lol
 
pre pregnancy 2016 I was at 130 pounds
only 3 months in and I'm at a whopping 155 already.
 
its scary because I didn't gain the majority of my baby weight until Elliott was almost done and ready to be born, so this is the struggle..
 
and it doesn't stop there!
along with my weight gain, every pregnancy gifts me with acne, horrible dull yet oily skin and major hair loss! I lost so much hair with Elliott it was crazy! this time its the same deal, its not bald patches its just an over all thinning and of course the popular "baby hair" hairline that just grew back is now shedding again!
 
this isn't a happy post, its a pity party.
I know there's no solution and there's bigger problems in the world but this is just a forewarning..
if you see me around and are like
"ouch did you see Holly lately?? she looks horrible."
 
you can save it!
I know I look horrible.
I feel horrible.
 
but I'm also in the process of growing an adorable little peanut!
its a ridiculous amount of work!
I'll admit it doesn't seem worth it right now..
but it will be!
because I already grew one and he is so friggen cute!
I just have to keep reminding myself of that.
 
*so cute. so cute. so cute.
worth it. worth it.
212 more days and I NEVER have to do this again.
 
 
^ 4 weeks!


 
^ 8 weeks!

I randomly came across our summer vacation photos this evening and it brought a literal tear to my eye..
my skin was so clear!
my hair so shiny!

This was only 3 months ago!
it truly is amazing what pregnancy does to your body!
good or bad, it is an amazing process.

 
Things I desperately miss:
- teeth whitening
- spray tans
- DELI MEAT
 

This is how I actually feel:
 
and if I ever get showered I'll need a 12 week photo.
goal set for upcoming weeks.
 
I look at newborn photos of Elliott to remind my self its not going to take as long as it feels..
I cannot believe this was 2.5 years ago!


tip: don't google too much while pregnant.
I know its helpful because you want to hear other women relating to you but there's so much hate among mommy threads it can be quite depressing.
especially on controversial topics..
ex: I googled pregnancy weight gain
and the women were straight up savage.
 
every pregnancy is SO unique only you and your doctor can assess what is best for your health.
do not let the body shamers get to you!
 
I'm hoping not to gain at this rapid rate for the next 6 months but I also know I'm doing the best I can with the given scenario and the weight will come off when I'm ready to start that post pregnancy journey. I may never look exactly the same or lose all of it but that's A-ok!
 
if you are interested in following some celeb real talk mommies I love Chrissy Teigen and my ABSOLUTE favorite Canadian mommy Jillian Harris, who posted this so real birth photo below..
 
 


along with her birth story - http://www.jillianharris.com/leos-birth-story/
 
 
I'm SO tempted to do a pregnancy video diary with bare belly shots on YOUTUBE because there is nothing more interesting to me than that realness.
Ex: Judy Travis showing off her post TWIN pregnancy belly!
 
 
but we will see if I can work up that nerve.
 
in other news I thought I would share my birthday gift in the photo below because its just so cute!
Nick got me some Pandora charms with baby theme this year.
a little Swarovski soother and two spacers with our kids birthstones
 


less baby updates, more beauty on the way
I'm just trying to find the balance since I like never shower or when I do its legit shower, puts back on pyjamas.... hahahah
stay tuned.
 







Tuesday, 15 November 2016

The road so far...

If you get my Supernatural shout out ^.....


also..




feeling inspired???
I am.
that makes me want to rewatch Supernat beginning to end, right now.

deep thought,
sometimes I forget who I am.
do you know what I'm saying??
I get so wrapped up in being, what people want, friends, family, media..
I get so busy and so stagnant at the same time, just blending in, making it through the day..
the real me starts to slip away
then I have these moments that snap me back to my core.

sometimes its something major that rattles me
like recently, the US election...
even though I'm Canadian, it was really a defining moment in history for a lot of us.
it didn't happen to go the way I was hoping and that made me think.
it made me really, really think and question..
my life, who I am, who I want to be.. ?

Sometimes its something dramatic like that and sometimes its as simple as hearing the Supernatural theme song...
feeling the power and inspiration it brings.

sometimes its just a real good mani/pedi that lets me see the world in a whole new light.

anyways...
none of that is what I came here to blab about today.
I didn't even think any of the above was in my brain at the moment, its surprising what your fingers type once you open that blog page!

its been a crazy couple of months!
biggest change being... >>>>>>>>

surprise I'm pregnant!!




I HATE pumpkin carving. its so much work and always makes my hands break out in a rash.
Nick loves it on the other hand, so I normally do it for him. & he's half decent at it!
this year he did a stork! haha

so funny story.. I found out I was expecting Elliott because of a trip to emerg!
long story short: I thought my appendix was rupturing, in the middle of the night.
spend an eternity in emerg, they said SURPRISE you're pregnant.

this time around I ended up in emerg again!
I just didn't know it at the time.

it was near the end of September, a Saturday.
we took Elliott to dance class then went to the gym - typical Sat.
after the gym I wanted to stop at frenchys  (second hand clothing store)
I ran in, peeked around and back out to the van.
I was wearing my gym sneakers and while I was in frenchys my feet started to feel SO hot and itchy!

I ripped off the sneakers as soon as I hit the van and noticed my feet were a little blotchy.
ok, lets go to Walmart for a few items. (5 min drive)
my feet and ankles and legs on that drive started to make me crazy!
I was SO itchy, it was unbearable.
went to Walmart, picked up Benadryl and anti itch creams.. 

Its now the next evening, I have been heavily medicated on the drugs and cream
this rash is INSANE. if I could have ripped my flesh off, I would've, I practically did with the itching!
Elliott went to my parents for a sleepover so Nick and I decided to hit up the movies and see Girl on the train.

After the movie I said I cannot take this anymore!
lets go to emerg.
a couple hours later I'm released with some anti inflammatory meds and a Hand, foot and mouth disease diagnosis.

rash photo below!

the rash spread ALL over my body.
it kept moving and morphing
but the worst part was THE ITCHING.
it made me want to scream, I didn't know how I was going to survive.

weirdly, I had an appetite and the only other symptom besides the rash was how tired I was.
so I suffered.. long and hard, it was at least 2 weeks before I felt recovered from the rash.

my life continued as normal and it wasn't until mid October that I noticed something else..
I was going to Zumba class 3 times a week and I felt so sluggish tired, I was gaining weight like crazy all of a sudden, and.. my uterus felt loose.
yeah you heard me, it was weird.. my core didn't feel tight anymore, it felt loose like.. it felt like when I was pregnant with Elliott. but more like when I was 3,4,5,6 months pregnant..

I took a pregnancy test the next day because it just seemed too strange a feeling..
positive!
right away.
no delayed response.
I took 2 more haha

yup we were expecting!






we wanted to get a cute photo with the big brother book, what we got instead ^ hehehe


this pregnancy has been SO similar to my pregnancy with Elliott
- hyperemesis gravidarum
- constantly dehydrated
- craving ice tea

and its been a little surprising..
- MAJOR weight gain
- horribly sore boobs

those are just to name a few!
I do plan on keeping the blog updated but bear with me while I struggle through every day.
I have missed a lot of work already, if I manage to shower once a week I call it a major feat as I've been SO sick with the HG and weak, I am barely able to stand for more than a minute or two.

just looking at the computer screen for this long has made my head pound but now that we're all caught up I will try and post a quick blog here and there - goal twice a week!

until next time!!
XO


MOTIVATION!!>>
 





Thursday, 6 October 2016

Zoella comes to Canada celebration giveaway!

guys and gals..

I. am. so. sick.

It's been two weeks and counting..
I think..
I've sort of lost track, it just keeps coming and coming.
alas, those details are for another post because today I am wrangling up the energy to share some exciting news!

Zoella is coming to Canada!

(well her beauty products!! I wish she was too!)
I've been a Zoella fan for at minimum 4-5 years, she's been on the tube since 2009 and I love her easy listening girl next door YouTube style.

Every time I'd watch her describe her products I would get so envious, see her sneak peek Holiday 2016 line up below:




She lives in the UK (as so many of my favs do! that's a bucket lister if I ever had one)
and she has her own line of Zoella bath and beauty products that haven't been available in Canada..
until now.
 
So to get us all excited for the occasion I am hosting a little giveaway!!

the Zoella collections will soon be available at select stores:
- London Drugs                            - IDA
- Pharmasave                                - Guardian
- Lawtons Drugs                           - Brunet
- Familiprix                                   - Uniprix

you can also browse the brand:
Farleyco Zoella beauty products

but until then check out my photos below and enter to win a sticker me beauty bag!

 

 

A soft body mist starts my day off right!
this one is the perfect mild blend of florals and fruit,  I love a bit of smell but I don't want to over power anyone so the Blissful Mistful is right up my alley.
 
 
the style of the Zoella products is what really makes me swoon.
polka dots, yes! lace, bows, winkies!
maybe a tad bit youthful, but that's my favorite part!
she marries the chic adult style with some youthful whimsy.

 

The beauty bag on its own is so chic I debated the stickers! but I couldn't resist the just cutest-y enough look.




Enter below for a chance to win your very own Sticker me beauty bag!

*closes in 48 hours
open to Canadian residents only a Rafflecopter giveaway

PS: I have a lot of empties
& see the bag in action!