Thursday, 7 February 2019

Bump Date #1: Pregnancy Depression, what no one tells you..

If you haven't heard the news...
We're expecting!!!
I am so, so excited.

For me, it was always going to be only 1 or a whole lot of kids.
2 was never even an option, I always knew 2 was a stepping stone to 3.
So how exciting that we (me) are expecting, right?!

It's very exciting and I couldn't be happier to add a little baby to the mix this fall!

Happiness aside I need to talk about current day feelings and so I want to place a trigger warning for pregnancy and loss. This is not an easy post for me to write and I feel like I need to but I don't want anyone to read this if you're struggling, please exit, please don't continue.

I never knew pregnancy was so hard!

Who knew???
How could we know??
No one talks about this.
Really, even in the baby center chat rooms and the bazillion 'what to expect' book passages.

None of what I read ever said, "look, this pregnancy might break you".

They talk about the labour and delivery and should we find out the gender?
does your pee smell a little off or are my prenatals to blame?

But no one says, you're going to feel every cell in your body change, your body will no longer be yours, you probably will be sick and dead tired and fat and crying and just plain miserable for 9 months straight.

But you still have to pick yourself up, go to work, take care of the house/kids/your partner/life and pretend like you're pulling it all off flawlessy because pregnancy is not a disability and even if it was... its a self-inflicted blessing of a disablment with a happy outcome, so no one wants to hear you whine and complain about it. k.

Pregnant with Elliott ^ Month 1 & 2
So young and naive, still thinking the HG was just morning sickness and I would reach that blessed 2nd-trimester where all your sickness subsides and your energy levels return.

I was always suspect to the fact that my body wasn't built for pregnancy/delivery.
Just little tidbits told me, I can't explain without getting extremely intimate and personal.

So when I ended up in emerg to find out I was pregnant with Elliott and then back in emerg over and over again before being diagnosed with HG, 4th-degree tear with that delievery.

Pregnancy #2, HG again (emerg again, off work again, but only because I beg, apparently if you can show up to doctors appointments they'll assume you're fine to shovel parcels down a conveyor belt) and elected C-section this round.

I was not surprised by any of it, I had an intuition that I wasn't made for this but you know whats bigger than that intuition? MY STUBBORNESS.

40 weeks with Elliott^ I was SO done.
but he still didn't come for 14 more days, he inherited my stubborn.

So when deciding to have a 3rd, I knew it was going to be hard.
really, really, really unbelievably hard but I knew my stubborn desire to have 3 kids would outweigh.

39 weeks pregnant with Noelle ^ Smiling but SO done.

So here we are late first trimester, early second trimester???
who knows?? I don't know.
You know why?
Because I have no desire to know, all I know is its not far enough along.

I am so early into this pregnancy and I am already begging father time to speed things up.
I can't believe how bad I feel with how much time is left.
I thought my 'tough guy' 'I got this' 'women are warriors' speeches would carry me through to at least month 4-5-6.

I thought all my "you have 2 kids to take care of, this pregnancy will fly by" BS I read online would translate into my real life and I would struggle, sure, but I would prevail and this pregnancy would pass with ease and be a fond memory.

That's just simply not true and I'm scared.
I'm scared, this is scary.

I feel so unhappy, I don't want to do anything, I can't do anything, I am beyond sick and tired. (HG again and the meds are sleep aids so its a little bit lose/lose.)

I lay around like a lump on a log and feel sorry for myself.
I feel like I'm in a pregnancy depression and the only cure is giving birth, which won't happen for months and months so there's no relief.
It's not the flu or cold, it's a long 9 months when this is the diagnosis.

And I feel guilty about feeling so bad and I feel bad that Nick can't understand because I feel SO alone, lonely, isolated, I don't wish the same onto him but I wish he could relate or understand how to better support me.

Then I feel bad for being unable to help him, he's doing all the dirty work of cooking/cleaning/daycare pick up drop offs and I feel bad for the kids not getting my full attention.
I can't wait to see the kids after daycare pick up but after 25 minutes of them being home, I'm desperate for bedtime to roll around.

I don't care about showering or beauty.
Laundry, dishes, housekeeping.
I don't even want to insta story!
insta stories normally bring me so much joy! (insert #KONMARI)

I feel really, terribly depressed and saddened about the length of time left in this pregnancy and thats not something that people really talk about.

I am overjoyed to be expecting, I can't wait to hug, snuggle and love this baby, just as much as I adore Elliott and Noelle.

I'm just worn down from puking, peeing, feeling greasy (why does my hair skin nails get so oily during pregnancy?) exhaustion,  just the all over uncomfortable feeling in every aspect you could ever possibly imagine.

It sounds so petty and pathetic but it's hard.
Then I feel bad for feeling so bad and I feel bad for complaining about it.
I hate hearing myself talk lately, just call me Eeyore! I'm doom & gloom 24/7.

But that's the truth, that is how pregnancy is for me and I know I'm not alone.
I know it's going to be worth it.

If this is your first pregnancy you may be questioning if its all worth it but it is. 100%.

As fast as your body flipped into pregnancy blues it will flip the switch out and you'll be tired still (newborns, eh) but so happy and feel in your own skin again.

We just have to get through this tough time, keep those spirits up and think ahead, just get through one day at a time.

Monday, 17 December 2018

2018's Must Have Toys

Have you finished Christmas shopping yet?
Or should I ask if you've started???

Look no further if you're just starting! It may feel like your shopping days are numbered but I've got THE HOTTEST gift guide to share and it's a one-stop shop – for all entertaining essentials, holiday decor and this year’s must-have toys so you still have loads of extra time to browse the aisles and treat yourself, too. 
This holiday season I've partnered with Canada’s Christmas Store, Canadian Tire, to bring you what every child will be looking for on December 25th.

First off, let me start by saying my kids are such snoopers! Every single thing that comes into this house Elliott can sniff out – so let me share some of my favourite snoop proof tips provided by my friends at Canadian Tire to help you keep the magic of Christmas under wraps. 
I usually end up labelling the gifts with someone else's name temporarily so I can get them wrapped and keep them under the tree without provoking the snooper! If a present is labelled "Nanny", he will automatically assume it’s a sweater or such and leave it be.
I also keep things "in plain sight", I've had a few gifts hiding under towels in my laundry basket for the last few weeks, so I can take my time and finish my wrapping, My snoopers don't seem to think to look in such an obvious spot!
What's your best trick for avoiding the sneaky peekers??


Our Generation Violet Anna Doll, a ballerina in an adorable tutu who stands 18 inches tall.
Noelle is such a doll-loving little dancer, so this toy combines two of her favourite things.

Have you seen these Pomsies?!
They're the cutest little multi-purpose pet, and can bend around all sorts of things.
My kids love to carry backpacks, so I know they will be wrapped around their straps. Even better yet, their eyes change colour based on mood and they can play games, like freeze dance!

Now this, this little guy stole my heart.
A Scruff-a-Luv is the rescue pet that needs your love and attention to bloom into a little fluff ball. Groom them, bathe them and love them into something soft and fuzzy!

Aww, just look at this before shot!

PAW PATROL Ultimate Rescue Fire Truck with an extendable 2-foot tall ladder, and flashing lights and sirens.
Both the kids LOVE Paw Patrol, so this was a no-brainer for us, since they will be able to play together and eventually collect all the pups to help SAVE THE DAY.

Have you seen these L.O.L. Surprise Eye Spy Under Wraps Dolls?
I knew Elliott would be obsessed, so much so that I couldn't wait to give him one!

First, you unwrap the package and use the magnifying glass to read the hidden messages!

After unwrapping a couple of layers, you'll find a capsule that needs to be unlocked using the secret codes. Once you get the codes in place you'll be able to uncover your L.O.L. doll and accessories – it’s so cool and the kids loved working their way through the mysteries. 

 The kids had so much fun with the gifts we opened, now I'm even more excited for Christmas morning to arrive and to see their reactions! 
What's the must-have for you and yours this year?
Are you adding anything from my list to yours?!
Follow #CTChristmas on Instagram to see more of this year’s hottest toys.

 Disclosure: This is a sponsored post through Canadian Tire. All opinions and experiences are 100% my own.

Wednesday, 31 October 2018

The Nightmare before Christmas: Sally Makeup

*This post contains affiliate links

I wasn't sure what Sally makeup look I should go with, there are so many options!

I've seen it done with the big white eye - basically cover your undereye to brow with white Halloween makeup and turn yourself into a cartoon style, Sally.

Then there's the grey skin tone Sally or turquoise skin tone Sally.

Sitting at my makeup desk I still wasn't sure what to do...
but I knew the first step would be skin, so that's where I started.

I picked up this blue Halloween makeup at the Glow party store in Halifax, it cost $2 (on par with Dollarama!)

But when we went across the street to Spirit Halloween (Bayers Lake) they had a custom Sally makeup kit that had a beautiful turquoise blue!

I didn't end up getting the custom kit, as we had already spent a small fortune on costumes..
But I figured I could dull the $2 blue so I went on my merry way.

Using a non-favourite foundation (you will need a lot of foundation! so don't waste your Dior) I warmed up a dollop of blue makeup on the back of my hand, added some (many) pumps of foundation and used some cheap makeup sponges to mix a pretty grey tone.

I started pressing the grey colour onto my skin with the same makeup sponge and worked in small sections, pressing and bouncing the colour on - to avoid streaks.

When I was satisfied with the coverage I set everything with a big fluffy brush and a dusting of Coty Airspun powder - so good and affordable but definitely a heavy powder.

Now give your foundation and powder a chance to warm up & melt together while you do the eyes, or you can start with the eyes if you're worried about fall out eyeshadow but her imperfections are what make Sally so perfect!

The only thing I purchased for this look was the $2 blue makeup, I just so happened to have these palettes from PUR that arrived in my Boxy charm and the colours were PERFECT.

If you don't have anything as bright as the eyeshadow shades I used, you can always do a more smokey eye, using grey, brown and purple shades (she is pretty grey in the movie!).

I used a bright blue all over my lid, purple in the crease and green in the inner crease (not corner but inner crase still above my eye).

Then I lined my eyes with a black liquid liner

And added some Ardell Glamour Lashes (which looked amazing IMO lol. My sister mentioned it as well.)

I did not fill in my brows (as far as I can tell Sally doesn't have brows!) and I left my lower lashes bare as well, I wanted to amp up the under eye bag illusion and have that be the focus. (lol the bags are real, its no illusion.)

I grabbed the same purple eyeshadow and brushed it under the bottom lash line, a line on either side of my nose and under both cheekbones to create some definition.

And finally the stitches!
I've watched a lot of Halloween makeup youtube and somewhere along the line, I picked up this trick to make your stitches look more dimensional.

Using the same black Elf eyeliner from earlier, draw on a black stitch.
Allow the liner time to dry and then go over it a second time with a white liner - I had this pencil liner by Maybelline.

The white liner works as a highlight and gives your stitches that dimension!

I finished with the Kat von D Liquid lipstick - Vampira
Lipstick Link!

Its a little patchy but it is such a beautiful shade and the perfect Sally pout!

Okie Doke, I have to go get making some Cotton Candy, we are prepping for 300 this year!

I just wanted to get this out before the veil is closed for another year and all the ghouls and goblins return to their lairs!

Happy Halloween to you and yours!!

Wednesday, 26 September 2018

Halifax Wedding Series: Theme & Timeline

2018 has been the busiest year of my life; sounds funny because I was married in 2013, kids were born in 2014 and 2017, so 2018 shouldn't be a huge D.

But my own wedding, it was carefree! And newborns, they're easy!
I was on mat leave until 2018 and 2018 is the year my sister decided to get married.. in a 5 month timeframe. 5 months: decides to get married - gets married.

The kids had 1st and 4th birthdays which lead up to the bridal shower, bachelorette and wedding, every month was a whirlwind.

Now here we are, 4 days after its all done and I'm still reeling.
So, bear with me because this is all unedited (minus the gorgeous photos from

I wanted to get something up on the blog, for you all and for me, especially for me.
I feel like I am bursting at the seams with things to say but (despite spending 1000000 hours a day on insta stories..) I never seem to have the time to settle, create and story tell.

Which makes me so sad because when I look back on the last 4 years, almost everything is documented on the blog.

Day to day, special events, food, crafts, everything!
This was such a special (or stressful.. potatoe, potatoe) day for our family and I want to get something on record.

So here we go...

Let's start with the wedding theme and what the day looked like.
There is no way I will be able to touch on the venue, fashion, beauty, DJ, food, etc.etc in one go, so stay tuned for the series!

We were up by 8am, my aunt and uncle who were staying with us did a big breakfast (that I cannot eat because my nerves don't allow for it, hence the hangry lady later in the day...)

But the kids had a wonderful, peaceful morning and then hit the sheets for nap time.

I ran to the venue Bedford Basin Farmers Market to help set up.
At the last minute the room was rented out the Friday night before the wedding, so we only had this one shot to decorate (stay tuned for more in the venue section of the series).

My sister had a very romantic, glam but earthy theme on the brain and I feel like it all pulled together beautifully!

I'm not going to lie, I was skeptical... LOL
But the venue speaks for itself and there wasn't a need to 'over do' it.
The green was a perfect accect and there was gold everywhere to give off enough 'bling'.

The vintage mirrors were found on a buy and sell and she had the sticky vinyl letters cut to fit (they're removable and did remove quite easy, without residue).

I will ask her who cut them but I know she found the lady on Fb, so search the HRM wedding group for quick answers.

Everything looked great and there was really not much else to be done so I hit the road and went 5 minutes away to the Bedford Comfort Inn.

They had a really nice sized room, where the hair Karly Hodder Hair and makeup Esthetics by Amaya were already setting up (more on beauty later in the series!)

I quickly got my hair and makeup done, then I ran my butt back home to make sure the kids would be ready. Nick had the info and most of the pieces in place but details like Noelle's tights almost got left behind! hahaha

So now comes the answer to the question you've all been asking, did Noelle walk down the aisle??!?

No she did not.
But I think she could have!

What ended up happening was, I waited at the back with the kids while Nick and all my family took their seats at the front. This was a last minute scatter as everyone panicked that my sister was ready to make her entrance.

I was in a gown that did not allow for me to bend and lean in a capacity that would be needed to coax Noelle down the aisle.

She was a little nervous with all the people around and I could tell she was going to cry once I put her down to walk. Alas, I tried and she sat her bum onto the floor like a rag doll, crying, she shot her arms into the air wanting me to pick her up.

I knew it was game over without someone there to help me and I didn't want to be a sweaty, stressed mess, so I sent Elliott on his merry way and I was left with dilemma #2.


I wore wedges for optimal walking but I didn't think I would be stranded with Noelle in my arms at the back of a wedding aisle, every eye watching, waiting, expecting me to walk gracefully with 15 month old in tow.

So, I did what any anxiety filled human would do.
I seated myself right there in the very back row, safely and swiftly.

Halfway through the ceremony, I realized I gave my phone and purse to Nick!
I had no way to take photos, videos, nothing!
I had zero view of Elliott from where I was sitting, I'm a little sad about it but everyone says he did great and he looks adorable in the photos.

Next we headed outside for some family photos.
We ended up behind the Irving, right there off the highway!

There was a nice grassy patch, with tree backgrounds or a view of the water.
It was the perfect spot to get everyone involved quick and painlessly.

Did I mention that this wedding was a childfree event?
The venue only holds a small crowd of 100, so Elliott and Noelle were the only children in attendance and we decided to send them home after the ceremony/quick snack.

Thank you to my BFF Angela who was on standby, picked them up and had a fabulous sleepover!

Alright, we're going to wrap things up here and save the supper talk for the venue post!
I will leave you with the very NSFW Kardashian fam and a shot of the bouquet toss!

(we are sitting in order of Kardashian twin, we are currently accepting applications for a Khloe)

You guys can 'PIN' any of these photos to Pinterest by hovering over the image.
EeeeeK I can't wait to share more!