Tuesday, 9 August 2022

How can you lose something you never really had?

 Like sands through the hourglass..

As an '80's baby the saying is burned into my brain, all those summers filled with daytime TV and 'sick' stay home from school days. 

So are Days of our Lives.. 

This may be a painful post for some to read and I want to give you the heads up, pregnancy and loss.

So much of my day(s, like everyones) get filled with go-go-go and back to back appointments, meals, meetings, bath time, bedtime, repeat.

When I was younger, I was unsure if this busy 'mom life' - sports, school drop/pick ups, the never-ending fighting.. breaking them up, potty training, sleepless nights, days are long but the years are short.. was what I wanted for my future. 

I wanted a career and a home. I wanted lots of pets! Hoped to live in Nova Scotia, be near the ocean and enjoy little summer vacations. Take lots of photos, fill up my walls with picture frames and vintage trinkets. 

The children question remained unanswered, until around the time I met Nick. We dated a few years & I really started to consider what a future with children would look like. I knew Nick would be a great dad, I knew his calm complimented my crazy. I caught the marriage bug, I saw a future of swaddled little babies and a child filled, noisy home.

If you know me, I tend to go all or nothing, ADHD, Scorpio, oldest child.. I say it all the time. All or nothing, fake it till you make it!

Kids? *ok. adds to cart.*

You never know what the universe has in store for you, I always want to acknowledge that and I do try to pay attention to wording- children. I decided I would like to have children. We were already a family, families come in every shape and size!

I was open to whatever my guiding light offered me. Somehow the stars aligned and we first had a beautiful baby boy! Then a beautiful baby girl! and another one (DJ Khaled)! 1 Boy & 2 Girls, perfect!

I haven't mentioned this yet, but once I got with the idea of having children in my brain a number stuck out in my mind, 4. 

I remember specifically being asked throughout my life: "how many kids do you want?" This question.. it's so personal, there's so many factors, it is such a loaded question. 

The few times I dared to answer, "4". 

I remember certain conversations "I want 4, Nick wants 2, we would probably try for 3." 

And so we did and we were blessed. 

Families with 3 children... our homes are noisy and it can feel like you have double the amount of kids you do! Most of the time there is double the amount hanging around because we've entered 'the kids friends are at our place' phase of life.

3 is a great and a LOUD, BUSY, MESSY number.



Fast forward. The last couple of weeks have been the same bustling days and tired nights.

We have enjoyed summer so much and had a wonderful PEI vacation, everyone is feeling hectic and happy. I was feeling off, which is not unusual for me because I have chronic illness but I decided to use a strip pregnancy test.

There was the faintest line, another day I took another and another and although faint, they were there.

I told Nick the news (I have ADHD, I cannot wait a single second to tell anyone anything. No, cute little unboxing, I just say it right away ๐Ÿ˜†)  and we were excited but busy so days passed. 
I took a Clearblue and it said 'Pregnant 1-2'.

I waited a couple of days and took another Clearblue, it said the same. 

I suddenly felt HUGE, like my belly popped a foot outwards! This was also one of the first signs I felt when expecting both girls. Once my uterus expanded with Elliott it was very easily and more rapidly expanded again! 

We didn't tell anyone else, we knew how early on it was but we were very happy and chatty about what this could look like. I was hesitant to be excited, during all my previous pregnancies I had a terrible worried feeling, the anxiety is real. 

I felt exactly like that quote from Charlotte York: 

Nobody gets everything they want! Look at you, look at Miranda. You're good people and you two both got shafted. I'm so happy and... something bad is going to happen.

I feel that feeling so often. I feel so much guilt for being happy and its so hard to balance. 

I just had a feeling, it was my time for the bad.. then I started bleeding. 

It was late at night, we were still awake but we were busy cleaning and tidying. 

We have been prepping our home for some renovations (guilt feeling) and I was already wondering why I didn't feel morning sickness like I did with my other pregnancies.

I had HG with all those babies and it is awful!

But I was able to reassure myself, it was still so early, and I specially remember HG starting a little later than this so it was ok. 

I did have a very odd few days of extreme back pain while we were away on vacation, my back was thrown out so badly I could hardly walk. It was so unusual for me to 
A. have back pain this severe. 
B. for it to last as long as it did
but again, it was just a thing that happened and then it was behind me. 

Unfortunately, the bleeding did not stop. 

It's confusing and sad and stressful.
Honestly it has felt like an out of body experience to me. 
'Did any of this really happen??'
'Did I imagine all those tests?!' 

I did not. 
It  is/was very real and is the reality for so, so, so many people. 

Technically I think this would be considered a Chemical Pregnancy, a pregnancy that miscarries around 5 weeks or under. 

I don't personally love that term, but that's just my opinion.

I'm fine with it as a descriptive or medical word but when you read about 'Chemical Pregnancies' I feel it slightly diminishes the pain and the seriousness of the loss. 

It's similar to the word 'Fat' for me. 
I would rather not be referred to as "Fat". I feel there are so many more creative and intelligent words to be used. I am not speaking for all fat people, I'm being transparent about how I would like to be addressed. 

The same goes for our loss. 
I consider this a miscarriage. 

It was sudden, it was painful, it is not over. 
I don't know if anyone ever gets over a loss like this. 

Intertwined with the loss I feel all sorts of other emotions and things swirling around inside me - guilt? sadness? but also, thankfulness? worry? stress? pain? love? joy? sorrow? uncertainness?

It's something that so many go through, yet so few openly talk about. 
It's the reminder that we never know what our neighbours are dealing with or feeling. 
So kindness and empathy are key, support and love everywhere for everyone. 

If you're going through or have gone through anything similar or if this reminds you of something heavy you have been carrying, know you're not alone and I'm wishing you all best, love & strength your way.
Sending everyone lots of love, light and summer sun this month ๐ŸŒ…๐ŸŒˆ 
Thanks so much for being here, I enjoy getting to know you all so much! Take care of your body, ๐Ÿ’œ & soul.

Thursday, 28 July 2022

5 on Friday!

Happy Fri-YAY!!!!

So sorry that I have not kept up with 5 on Friday over the summer, I'm sure everyone has been busy!

And time is just flying by, eh??

Secondly my life (walls) are literally falling apart at the seams!!!!๐Ÿ‘‡

That is a story for another day... & long story short, every inch of our home feels like a construction zone right now so I'm trying to keep it together.. ๐Ÿ˜…

Other than that its been a wonderful summer so far, even with this crazy humidity... 

Which is definitely NOT my fave but we've made the best of our time. We have stayed and will continue to stay busy, busy! Probably more on that later but I just hope you're enjoying your summer as well! ๐Ÿ’›

Hit the beach and ignore the mess has been my mantra ๐Ÿ˜†

I was at Homesense Bayers Lake yesterday for a hot minute as I needed to grab a storage basket and I saw this beautiful mirror! It was $250, which isn't nothing... but for the size I thought that was a comparable price. I've seen similar ones on influencers pages that were much more expensive.

Homesense has SO many Halloween/Fall items already and I was drooling!!!
I am going to try and DIY something similar to this garland. 

These knit pillows were soooo sweet!! I wonder if I could DIY them?!?!๐Ÿ˜‚

Other than that I would like to leave you with some Netflix rec's to check out this weekend!
It seems like a lot of goodies were just uploaded!! 
I haven't watched them all but its on my long weekend to do list ๐Ÿ’›

1. Street Food 
2. Shania Twain, Not Just a Girl
3. The Gray Man
4. Persuasion 
5. The Most Hated Man on the Internet
6. Blown Away

And don't forget to watch... 
ME! hahahahah
Honestly, thank you all so much for the support and hype girl energy lately!
I appreciate it so much, have a great weekend!!

@hollyshousewifelife Where my Halloweenies at?!?๐Ÿคš๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ–ค๐Ÿค๐Ÿ–ค๐Ÿงก #happyhalloween #OneDegreeMore #bayerslake #homesense @winners #halloweenie #halloweenqueen #novascotia #halifax #halifaxblogger #capebreton #lipstick ♬ It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year - Andy Williams
@hollyshousewifelife #greenscreen whats the meaning behind your tattoo? #horsesoftiktok #pitpony #OneDegreeMore #horsefamily #horsegirl #horsesontiktok #ponygirl #capebreton #capebretoner #capebretonisland #tattoos #tattooideas #tattooedgirl #lipstickshow ♬ Carrying Your Love - David Morris
Thursday, 21 July 2022

Everything you need to know about Splashifax - Bridgewater

 I was not prepared!!! ๐Ÿ˜‚ 

I thought I would be prepared as I can be a go with the flow person, I am tough as nails.. and Nick had gone to Splashifax (click here for website) at their previous location last year so he gave me the run down. 

But as we drove to the new location in Bridgewater suddenly the boys started razzing me a bit about how sore I was going to be tomorrow.. 

My thoughts (also my vocal reply ๐Ÿ˜†):

"Umm, excuse me sir but anything you can do I can do better."

100% truth but let me give you some tips from my POV because you really don't know if you don't know๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ’™

1. What to wear? 

Bring your body already dressed in your swimwear. 

Wear a light sundress or quick change outfit overtop. 

Make sure your swimwear is something sturdy that you'll be comfortable in. 

The force, speed and heights you'll be going at are not for the faint of heart. 

I was picking wedgies because my suit bottoms are so old that they stretch out quite a bit after a while in the water and because of this I am on the hunt for a really suctioned spandex bottom for my next Splashifax venture, if you have any bathing suit recommendations. ๐Ÿ˜†

Your body will be slipping and sliding and shaking in all kinds of weird ways but trust me no one is looking, its every man for themselves out there so wear something you'll be comfy in and have fun!! 

2. What gear is provided? 

You must wear a life jacket, you can bring your own but it has to be approved by Transport Canada. 

You have to purchase grippy socks. Trust me you'll want the socks!! 

From Nicks experience last year there was not socks included and it made it much less fun because it was too easy to slip. 

At first swimming in socks seems strange but you very quickly forget about it. They're very comfy and I believe you can save and reuse them. We saved ours :) 

3. What else should I bring? 

Nothing, Nadda, Zip. 

Well, bring a towel. hahaha.

IMO bring as little as possible! 

I was the crazy lady who thought 

"Oh, maybe I'll bring these super old sunglasses. I don't mind if I lose them." 

I have incredibly sensitive eyes and cannot be in the sun at all, it is super frustrating but trust me those glasses would have been at the bottom of the lake within the first 12 seconds and that would be a shame. 

Leave the jewelry, hats, hair accessories, glasses, cameras, all. of. it. behind.

You do not need it. 

They will duct tape your rings to your fingers but its not worth the risk of losing them and/or the potential of popping the park equipment. 

A drink and snack to leave at shore would be a good idea (there may be FOOD up and coming on the property, its a work in progress ๐Ÿ˜‰ so stay tuned!) 

Leave your phone in the car. 

There is only unsecured storage areas and I would hate to see anything go missing - just enjoy the fun, forget the stuff!

4. Is 2 hours long enough? 

2 Hours is so long I thought they had let us stay beyond our allotted time. ๐Ÿ˜‚

We went full force almost the entire time and when the last 25 minutes snuck up I was starting to get a tad tired feeling. It really felt like we were on the park for more than 2 hours! It was the perfect fulfilling amount of time.

5. What are the age restrictions?

Let's touch on this one because I've been mulling over it all week!

You must be over the age of 5 and anyone aged 12 and under must have an adult go in the water with them. 

I have a really hard time with this because I am SUCH a worry wart.

There were PLENTY of very young children having an absolute ball on the park the day we were there and I think that is just so lovely and an incredible family date. 

I am still on the fence about whether to take Elliott or not. He just turned 8 last week, is an absolute fish and has completed a few years of swimming lessons.. I am 99% sure that he would LOVE this but it is an incredibly intense experience. 

I truly don't feel an age number is the determining factor, you know your child and if they're an accomplished, confident swimmer with a love for thrill seeking - this would be an incredible experience for them!

If your child is a nervous swimmer at all, even if well within the age bracket, and adding in that they would be wearing a life jacket.. I think I would still wait another year or two. 

It will be the best version of fun it can be if everyone is confident and excited! 

6. What are you talking about? What's so intense about this park? Can't I just lounge and sun bathe?? 

No you cannot. hahaha

I thought this too! and while there are ways to avoid the intensity - I floated around in the lake a lot. 

Just floated on my back and spun around in circles, enjoying the cool water around me, feeling the warm and cool pockets of temperature that naturally occur in lakes. I looked at the clouds and starfished my body while resting my eyes. 

I was kind of in my own little world while the boys did more competition style areas or jumped the super high cliff diving jumps. 

But the majority of the park is an obstacle course!

It truly looks and feels like you're on a game show style competition. 

But with saying that all the guests were super, duper respectful. There was no pushing or shoving, it is a very large park with lots and lots to do so everyone was able to use every area multiple, multiple times and it did not feel too crowded - just crowded enough!

Also, be prepared to SWIM!!

You must swim out to the park area and back to the dock at the end.

It was more swimming than I anticipated but it didn't feel rushed or stressful.

I did have one minor panic attack feeling when we first had to jump in the water ๐Ÿ˜† this was the most intense part for me.. that initial "Ok, hop in this lake and swim all the way over there" casual kind of vibe the staff have, they see this every day! But the size of the lake and the park freaked me out, just for a single second and then I was fine!! I know it wouldn't happen again, it was one of those first timer, fear of the unknown, "wow, this is HUGE!!" moments.. and now that I know what to expect - I cannot wait to go back!!

You can easily float on your back or starfish your way back to the dock at the end and there is a walking dock that you can try to balance on but it is also a floatie so I ended up swimming as close to land as I could - the water was so nice! I didn't want to get out. 

7. Is it worth it?? Was it fun?

10/10 YES. 

It was SO fun! 

& I absolutely adored going with a group of adults! It brought me back to being a teenager or in my early 20's. I felt so free, I enjoyed challenging myself and taking some risks. I felt invigorated by the sun and the swimming. I love being water logged, I love the hunger that builds after a day on the water, like you didn't realize it but you burned a bazillion calories and you need to eat and sleep and crash the way you did when you were a child and couldn't make it to bed so your dad had to carry you upstairs. 

I cannot wait to go back again! I know the second time will be even more enjoyable for me because I'm a creature of habit and I like to know my way around a place.

It would be AMAZING to rent the place out (they do offer some packages for this!).

Let me know if you've been and what you thought!! 

We did get our passes complimentary through my partnership with Splashifax but I wanted to write a blog post on my experience. 

Monday, 27 June 2022

Run For Women 2022!

 I can't believe its been an entire year since my first Run for Women! - Website Click Here

Read a little more about the Run for Women and see last years blog post - Click Here!

I feel so honoured to be partnering with Shoppers Drug Mart & Loblaws again this year to share the details and my experience of what the Love You by Shoppers Drug Mart, Run for Women means to me!

What is it? 

The Run for Women is a 5 or 10k walk/run in support of women's mental health programs in 18 cities across Canada. 

This year, 2022 was the 10th anniversary. ๐Ÿ’›

How does it help?

Healthy Women = Healthy Communities!

Gender specific risk factors for common mental disorders that disproportionately affect women include - gender based violence, socioeconomic disadvantage, low income and income inequality, low or subordinate social status and rank, and unrelenting responsibility for the care of others.

Why does it matter to me? 

I have always wanted to be open about my personal mental health struggles. From ADHD-PTSD, to the every day anxiety that has only increased with our growing family, worrying about them and carrying the weight of running a busy household - don't forget to mention hormones, pregnancy, birth, postpartum!

Add in a pandemic, political atmospheres, and tragedy. 

We live in a 'new normal' of social media with constant access to information, we seem to have the technology available to make instant connections, yet, it can still feel very isolating and in ways sometimes I have felt more alone than ever before.

Every story is unique, every experience valid and every difference makes us stronger!

Since 2012 participants have raised approximately $14 million dollars for Women's Mental Health programs across Canada. 

If thats not inspiring enough to make you want to join us next year..

Check out this amazing Swag Bag each participant receives with their sign up: 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Holly Clarke (@hollyshousewifelife)

Over $100 value!!

Again, I am just so proud to take part in this wonderful cause and if you missed the run this year but would like to donate can click on team Run The World click here. 

Already looking forward to next year!!

Getting outside with friends, enjoying some fresh air and sunshine all while moving my body gets me feeling happy & strong!!

Doing it for the girls!! ๐Ÿ’—

Thanks again to Shoppers Drug Mart for Sponsoring my run.

Saturday, 28 May 2022

Five on Friday!

 It's 5 on Friday!! 

Well, its Saturday but I missed last Friday and the weeks are starting to all blur together so I really want to get this out there. It's so amazing for my own personal record to have these memories documented in this way, I read older blog posts and I am jolted back to that mostly forgotten moment in time. 

I am so happy to be back with some consistency and I would love if you felt inspired to start your own blog, public or private, paper journal or virtual. It's such a great little hobby and has brought me so much joy and special friendships. 

1. Trigger Warning for this one

This may be a bit of a trigger.

I am not doing well with all the pain and violence lately. I am incredibly sad and feeling very alone. Every day is difficult for me, that burden never takes a day off but when yet again, a fresh deep devastation happens and on the back of another and another... I find it unbearable to shoulder.

Because I believe it doesn't have to be this way if only we would put aside our differences & come together. It's time to be proactive not reactive.

What I've learned that means for me personally is that I will continue to try and contain my emotions, continue on with sharing the positive, advocating, channel my energy into constructive efforts and remember you cannot fight violence with violence. 

Please take some time to soak in the little things and share some kindness this week. ๐Ÿ’—

Now onto the 5..

Nilah is officially signed up for Pre-school in the fall! It will be a couple of mornings (half days) a week every week. We attended the open house for her and she was thrilled! 

She really loves other kids and has a great little imagination. She didn't want to leave the orientation and her teachers laughed that she shouldn't have any shyness attending come the fall. 

The Pre-school is absolutely amazing, Noelle had such a fabulous experience there and it really prepared her for Pre Primary. 

But this week especially, it just felt incredibly emotional, she's so little.. is it safe.. I had to dig through all the feelings. 

I know she is going to flourish and for myself I looked into some options for filling my time while she's at school. Not that I would have any problem finding ways to fill time ๐Ÿ˜‚ but I want to be very intentional and maybe try something new.. I looked into a few things and there is a Yoga Class nearby that fits the time frame perfectly so to start I think I will sign up for that.

My girlfriends and I tried to commit to some yoga classes a few months back but something always fell through = snow storms, sickness, holidays, so having one class in the am when I am guaranteed to be child free (unless someone gets sick etc. ๐Ÿ‘ป)  it should work out great!

It feels like levelling up in my mom-game! A short time when all my kids will be in school, I am excited to begin the new season.


See below for the video!

@hollyshousewifelife My fav is back!!! @Catrice Cosmetics #beautyblogger #halifax #rosecea #roseceacheck #momlive #fyp #PCMadeMeBuyIt ♬ original sound - Holly Clarke

Which is just so awesome, affordable and I was pleasantly surprised to see it was relaunched with an upgraded formula and packaging. 

THEN, I was watching Rachhloves <Click that link

And she mentioned something similar.. that I now MUST TRY ๐Ÿ’

Click here to see the Wet N Wild color corrector

This is also a wonderful drug store brand, it is a cushion formula which I usually love because the coverage should be light and natural. 

Will keep you posted! 



Another beauty product that I absolutely loved and was so happy to find at my local Shoppers Drug Mart was this Versed Beauty brand specifically the Makeup remover, click here

This is an up and coming brand with really great reviews. I've used an entire container of this cleansing balm and I will repurchase!

Let me know if you've tried it or anything by Versed. 

4. We wrote some letters this week.

IYKYK Noelle is getting great at writing! She practices all the time and she really enjoys it ^

& we really appreciated this super cute note that was taped to the freshly painted benches. Thank you for taking the time to add a little fun to our day ๐Ÿ˜˜

5. And we've watched lots and lots of Tv/Movies but what's sticking out to me right now is the movie 

Queen Pins Click Here

Gosh, was this on Amazon Prime?? I think so. 

It has Kristen Bell in it and its about couponing so I was already intrigued. 

I was also thrilled to see the Post Office being represented! Theres just not enough Post Office inclusion in tv and movies imo ๐Ÿ˜

Worth a watch if you ask me!!

Ok, thats it for now, thanks so much for hanging out and chat soon!

A post shared by Holly Clarke (@hollyshousewifelife)

Monday, 16 May 2022

What to buy at Costco.. May 2022

Non Spon by Costco but should be, so feel free to share ๐Ÿ˜‚

We have been experimenting with ways to make our $ go further.

I've found some gems at Costco that help the budget and I've also listed some items that are just for fun but good value. 

And as always I have to suggest thrifting or buying used, the climbing dome and swing are great examples of how buying a classic item can lead to it being loved for many years and then handed off to other families before its lifetime wears out. 

Also, want to note that Costco Items seem to be a few dollars more online and a few dollars less in store, I'm not sure why or how that comes to be but take note.

Sadly they changed the shape of this children's climbing dome.. 
I purchased this one second hand and the kids love it! 

The new one is linked below and is an investment but if you have a Little Rock climber on your hands this may be for you. 

$329 new or keep an eye on buy and sells.

The swing in the centre of ours does not come with the dome but is also available at Costco and this swing is a HUGE hit!! Its sooo fun hanging and swinging in a tree or very cool attached in the centre of the dome. 

Click Here to see the new shape and colour of the climbing dome $329

Click Here to see the round swing  $59

Click Here to see the 2 seater swing, its bomb dig! $79 

This is my favourite brand of Gluten Free bread.

I usually purchase the wide slice white bread style, but I cannot pass up this Seeds and Grains version as its 2 for the price of 1 at Costco. 

No online link so sorry. 

These Croissants have been a game changer!!
Our kids will eat a croissant as breakfast, lunch, supper, snack and dessert ๐Ÿ˜‚

I actually considered making my own croissants from scratch at one point but I knew I could never haha

These are unbaked frozen croissants and every couple of days I pop a few in the oven, they're so fresh and buttery. 

I'm so thankful to my friend Little Sarah Birch Click HERE for having these at her house last month and giving me the idea because its one of those things I would walk past for 100 years but probably never pick up on my own. 

Completely changed the game for school lunches ๐Ÿ˜

You must grab these!! Under $20 in store and all the rage for sandal style this year!

As Dr. Strang would say "now is not the time for Costco sandals" but Holly's Housewife Life says 
THE TIME IS NOW! GO GO GO. 2022 Sandals are hot, hot, hot!

I actually have a pair of sandals so incredibly similar to these coming in my Summer 2022 Jilly Box so I didn't pick these up but I convinced my girlfriend hahaha.

This Maple Syrup is Bomb dot com, we use soooo much real maple syrup in our house.

Since I recently discovered my intolerance to Dairy I've made the switch completely to Almond Milk for things like my coffee and this Almond beverage is great!

I enjoy making my at home coffee using this Almond mix and I slightly sweeten it further using the maple syrup above. 

The Almond beverage itself is great and has a slight vanilla flavour but I am Buddy the Elf apparently and Maple Syrup is one of my basic food groups, so more is more.

What I like about this Almond drink is that it comes in a box of 6!

Click Here for the Almond Drink $14

Costcos garden centre is getting started! And people were clearing it out already, last week I saw everyone going with cart fulls. 

It's a bit early to leave your flowers outside but if you take them in at night they should be ok. 

My hack is to purchase these beautiful full hanging baskets ($25) and split them up, transfer into pots.

(see photo above of me starting that) 

It's a great way to get a variety of flowers for an affordable price 

and your local lazy lady hack for us non green thumbs.

Okie doke, that's it for this week!! 

Hit me up with what I should add to next months Costco run!

Happy Monday, have a great week ๐Ÿ’

Saturday, 14 May 2022

5 on Friday!

 It's Friday Thennnnn, its Saturday, Sunday, WHAT??!  ๐Ÿ˜˜

This week was cray, cray!

1. I feel like we had appointments every day this week. 

After quite a few months of Nilah & I boppin' around to appointment, after appointment, after appointment we sort of came to a conclusion/non conclusion about her speech delay... She is not on the Autism Spectrum, no sensory, nothing SPD, and maybe not even ADHD but maybe, ADHD.. basically that's just too soon to tell and probably not related to her speech delay either way.

Basically she's just a gal with a speech delay and a very expressive, emotional, empathetic, big ol' personality!! Sounds kind of familiar... huh.. so weird. ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ˜˜

We have seen so many people and my favourite (who I felt was most helpful) of the bunch was Early Intervention, Laura. 

She was very caring and compassionate, she spent a lot of time getting to know us, was super informative and even though Nilah most likely doesn't qualify for any further assistance, Laura is hoping to continue to advocate for her (and us) so that feels great. 

Nilah seemed to stump Laura just as much as she's stumped us and I feel like you can't help but want to "solve" the puzzle of Nilah! Thats how Laura and I kind of discussed it anyway. 

You see this sweet, smart cookie, teeny tiny (over) 2.5 year old girlie who can communicate SO well through almost zero words. 

It's both puzzling and impressive so you can't help but want to engage with her to see where she will go and if once the words come they just don't stop coming or if they continue to form super, duper slow and steady as they have over the last 2 years. 

Every week we do hear Nilah learn new words, even if they aren't clear, as a family we hear them and we celebrate that. 

This week she said water and bucket out of the blue during swimming lessons and it is so exciting to me whenever she says something she hasn't verbally said before.

She also communicated to me this afternoon by rapidly blinking and pointing to her eyes and then pointing to my eyes, that she wanted me to close my eyes.

Then she held out her hands and pointed to my hands to indicate she wanted me to close my eyes and hold out my hands so she could give me a gift just as Noelle had done a few minutes prior.

She acts out everything in such great detail and we usually know what she wants but it takes great effort from her to act out these scenes and its a game of charades where we get some of her words but not all so we have to keep trying to guess and its just quite taxing. 

My wish is that those words start to tumble out and my sweet little girlie can begin to relax a bit. 

I'll welcome the additional voice into the Clarke sibling wars.. aka the source of my daily headache.. hahaha

2. No Spend May though?!?!??! 

We have spent way too much on groceries this week, we have spent way too much on going out last month so I am all about chilling and grilling at home these next couple of weeks!

We haven't purchased anything for a week now. 

 I even stood in line at our local Tims... I did get my hair done (sorry but that was booked in advance lol) and I was starving afterwards... I went into Superstore to pick up a prescription and I desperately wanted an ice coffee, I found myself standing in queue but I hopped out of it before ordering and I said to myself 

 "Make it at home Bish" 

Say it with me now ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’ช

We are going to the Avril Lavigne concert this month and we're going to Sensea Spa.. 

I KNOW. gahh 

We have been cooped up for so longgggggg.

I feel like Nick and I are eager to live a little, ya know?! 

So I'm looking forward to both those things but I am trying to shop my closet and find something fun to wear to Avril, I have this feeling like I must go all out Sk8er Boi style.. maybe that's the high school emo in me. 

I will try and make some fun reels of me shopping my closet and finding the perfect look, stay tuned. 

3. I'm going to show you my nails.. I do not love my nails, they've always been brittle, they actually split like, peel.. IYKYK.

& I have been getting worse at picking, I can't explain it, I tried explaining on Insta but it sounded nasty so I deleted the stories lololol 

As it turns out this compulsive feeling can be a huge thing amongst us ADHD crew so that actually made me feel better about myself, I am not alone in this awful habit. ๐Ÿ˜‚

One of the things that can help is getting your nails done and on schedule, but something else about having ADHD.. is that I never book appointments on time! ๐Ÿ˜ญ

This is 2 weeks grow out after I having a beautiful mani at Embrace Spa. 

The colour is Beckoning Begonia and it is so gorgeous, the perfect pale purple with a tiny bit of shimmer.

I am going to book another mani stat (I know no spend ๐Ÿ˜… but that's more about purchasing food and clothes all while having loads of food and clothes at home).

 I did grab some Colour Street from my friend Stephanie and I will link her group here Stephs Clean living Group Click here

The good news is that I haven't been tempted to peel my nails since getting this shellac mani and I would say this is the longest and strongest they have been in a long time! 

Don't judge me because I already know my cuticles are the worst ever and my nail beds suck! 

Just call me Karen ๐Ÿ˜‰


We love tv, obsessed, 80's baby, 90's child. 

The Staircase on HBO is good. Definitely worth a watch if you're familiar with the story. 

If you're not familiar, I suggest you start with the documentary on Netflix, its about 4 years old now and this HBO show almost seems like the Netflix doc refilmed with well known actors in place of the real people. 

Colin F is AMAZING at recreating the vibe of Michael Peterson. 

Colin is just an amazing actor, very impressed. 

And I am Toni Collettes biggest fan, she is incredible and if you haven't watched The United States of Tara.. well boy, buckle up and head all the way back to 2009 and start there. 

The Girl from Plainville on HULU is also very well done and worth a watch. 

Watch it just for Elle Fanning. 
She is an unreal actress and seems like she's doing it with so little effort! 
She must have prepared like crazy but seems so casual and looks EXACTLY like Michelle imo.

I have to go watch everything else she's ever done because if its half as good as her acting in this one.. 
I will be a satisfied viewer.


Trash Monday is starting up in 2 days!! Hopefully... weather pending!
Its been a rainy spring and that's really held me back from Trash diving
but the temp is rising and hopefully I will be out and about searching in peoples garbage for some gems!!

This little stool was from the very start of my Trash Monday series, which started over 2 years ago!!
Been trash hunting for many, many years before that but now it has a name! lol

2 years!!!!
Whoa baby!!!!

I know many of us have been together almost as far back at 8 years now and I just wanted to say 
THANKYOU for hanging out with me and growing with my fam jam!

I have been really struggling to find myself again, putting my family first but also finding time to do some things I enjoy and of course share it with you all ๐Ÿ’—

I want you to know how much you mean to me and how much I enjoy this blog world and connecting with everyone.  Thanks so much for being here! 

Have a Great week ๐Ÿ’