The road so far...

If you get my Supernatural shout out ^.....

also..





feeling inspired???
I am.
that makes me want to rewatch Supernat beginning to end, right now.

deep thought,
sometimes I forget who I am.
do you know what I'm saying??
I get so wrapped up in being, what people want, friends, family, media..
I get so busy and so stagnant at the same time, just blending in, making it through the day..
the real me starts to slip away
then I have these moments that snap me back to my core.

sometimes its something major that rattles me
like recently, the US election...
even though I'm Canadian, it was really a defining moment in history for a lot of us.
it didn't happen to go the way I was hoping and that made me think.
it made me really, really think and question..
my life, who I am, who I want to be.. ?

Sometimes its something dramatic like that and sometimes its as simple as hearing the Supernatural theme song...
feeling the power and inspiration it brings.

sometimes its just a real good mani/pedi that lets me see the world in a whole new light.

anyways...
none of that is what I came here to blab about today.
I didn't even think any of the above was in my brain at the moment, its surprising what your fingers type once you open that blog page!

its been a crazy couple of months!
biggest change being... >>>>>>>>

surprise I'm pregnant!!

I HATE pumpkin carving. its so much work and always makes my hands break out in a rash.

Nick loves it on the other hand, so I normally do it for him. & he's half decent at it!

this year he did a stork! haha

so funny story.. I found out I was expecting Elliott because of a trip to emerg!

long story short: I thought my appendix was rupturing, in the middle of the night.

spend an eternity in emerg, they said SURPRISE you're pregnant.

this time around I ended up in emerg again!

I just didn't know it at the time.

it was near the end of September, a Saturday.

we took Elliott to dance class then went to the gym - typical Sat.

after the gym I wanted to stop at frenchys  (second hand clothing store)

I ran in, peeked around and back out to the van.

I was wearing my gym sneakers and while I was in frenchys my feet started to feel SO hot and itchy!

I ripped off the sneakers as soon as I hit the van and noticed my feet were a little blotchy.

ok, lets go to Walmart for a few items. (5 min drive)

my feet and ankles and legs on that drive started to make me crazy!

I was SO itchy, it was unbearable.

went to Walmart, picked up Benadryl and anti itch creams.. 

Its now the next evening, I have been heavily medicated on the drugs and cream

this rash is INSANE. if I could have ripped my flesh off, I would've, I practically did with the itching!

Elliott went to my parents for a sleepover so Nick and I decided to hit up the movies and see Girl on the train.

After the movie I said I cannot take this anymore!

lets go to emerg.

a couple hours later I'm released with some anti inflammatory meds and a Hand, foot and mouth disease diagnosis.

rash photo below!

the rash spread ALL over my body.

it kept moving and morphing

but the worst part was THE ITCHING.

it made me want to scream, I didn't know how I was going to survive.

weirdly, I had an appetite and the only other symptom besides the rash was how tired I was.

so I suffered.. long and hard, it was at least 2 weeks before I felt recovered from the rash.

my life continued as normal and it wasn't until mid October that I noticed something else..

I was going to Zumba class 3 times a week and I felt so sluggish tired, I was gaining weight like crazy all of a sudden, and.. my uterus felt loose.

yeah you heard me, it was weird.. my core didn't feel tight anymore, it felt loose like.. it felt like when I was pregnant with Elliott. but more like when I was 3,4,5,6 months pregnant..

I took a pregnancy test the next day because it just seemed too strange a feeling..

positive!

right away.

no delayed response.

I took 2 more haha

yup we were expecting!

we wanted to get a cute photo with the big brother book, what we got instead ^ hehehe

this pregnancy has been SO similar to my pregnancy with Elliott

- hyperemesis gravidarum

- constantly dehydrated

- craving ice tea

and its been a little surprising..

- MAJOR weight gain

- horribly sore boobs

those are just to name a few!

I do plan on keeping the blog updated but bear with me while I struggle through every day.

I have missed a lot of work already, if I manage to shower once a week I call it a major feat as I've been SO sick with the HG and weak, I am barely able to stand for more than a minute or two.

just looking at the computer screen for this long has made my head pound but now that we're all caught up I will try and post a quick blog here and there - goal twice a week!

until next time!!

XO

MOTIVATION!!>>