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Friday, 9 July 2021

Boundaries

Boundaries, do you got 'em???

If you were to ask me what my boundaries are, I would tell you that not having boundaries IS the boundary I set for myself. 

It's a fact I would probably be pretty proud of, honestly.
I pride myself on being this "open book" style of person. 
But at what point do you say to yourself: Hey, maybe a boundary or two would be nice? 




Lack of boundaries comes naturally to me, I don't feel like I have boundaries in any part of my life and never have. Personal, professional, virtual..

With a family like mine you just don't set boundaries because no one would listen to them anyway. lol
So that naturally seeped into every aspect of my life.
Being a women, a people pleaser, an anxiety ball who is scared of everyone hating her.
I use to thrive in the no boundary land!

There was a point in my life where not having boundaries was what made my world go round. 
But, at this point with so many mouths to feed (literally, its a full time job to make the money and feed the babies!) and so many people/things/jobs needing something from me - 
I am finally considering putting some firm boundaries in place.



Now, I don't know how to do that. 
I literally don't know.

I think I am going to start by committing the remainder of the summer to joy. 

I have my hand in everything, blogging, Scentsy, signs, Etsy, SAHM, being that dutiful wife and don't forget to be a neighbour/friend/family member. 

It's too much. 
 
Hustle culture is real and its toxic. 
I use to think if I worked harder I would get farther. 
That's what everyone use to say - "you have to work harder and focus". 

They're not totally wrong, I could definitely use a little focus.. but burnout is real, lack of boundaries and never saying no, it takes the joy out of things.



I love making signs and things for my Etsy shop but I get burnt out when I am making custom orders - I still never say no to custom. 

I love Scentsy products and I sell a bit but I can never fully commit (that kind of thing really is an all or nothing!), I always feel bad about that, it feels like I am letting my customers/friends down. 

I love being open and honest on my social media sites and having deep conversations but also playing around with makeup and the light stuff - but trying to balance both heavy and light gets me too weighed down and I end up saying things that are not well thought out or complete.
Not to mention, I'm constantly going to get back to someone but never have the time because I am exhausted by the end of everyday.



In the fall I am taking on a new role as childcare provider and that's the kind of thing you can't half @ss.
So I am committing to enjoying the rest of my summer and not going to feel guilt (not too much guilt anyway..) about dropping almost everything I have mentioned above. 

I need a reboot in a way and its been a long time coming.

A new fresh set of boundaries, actually have some boundaries. 

Then slowly I can start to bring back in the items that truly bring me joy.

This is going to be hard because everything I listed above is joyful to me in its own way.

But I am committing myself to picking only the top tiers. 

Thanks to my friends Suzi - suzifevens.ca 
for really making me think about this. 
You can listen to her latest podcast on boundaries - HERE

And let me know, how do you apply boundaries in your life??
I'm genuinely curious and all suggestions welcome because I am starting from scratch!

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